I used to like dark things. Horror books were my favorite, I wore black and maroon, dark green and brown. I was drawn to dark, candle lit rooms and depressing music. I think I stopped liking the darkness when I began to truly see it inside myself. It wasn’t wasn’t the nasty stuff of horror movies, but the inauthentic life I was living. The real horror that manifested in me and my relationships because I wasn’t being true to myself.
As I get closer and closer to my authentic self, I find I’m no longer drawn to dark things. I like sparkly things and bright colors, sunlit restaurants, and yes, this year I’ve discovered that I even like kitten calenders. I think nothing is more sappy than a kitten calender and yet, this year that’s just what’s hanging in my studio. I got it at a local pet food store, and it’s as awfully cute as you might imagine. There’s no irony here, it’s just straight cute kittens that I’m drawn to. I’m finding that what would have horrified me 10 years ago, (a kitten calender) is the real me.