It’s the first time in weeks, or has it been months, that it’s been warm enough for the donkeys to want a little attention other than food. It was just above freezing all day and I wanted to be outside. A walk with Jon and Red in the morning and snow shoeing in the afternoon. Inbetween there was shoveling (all the snow was melting off the roofs) and any other chore I could think up just to be outside.
But this spring-like day also meant that Fanny and Lulu didn’t mind me scratching them under the chin and behind their ears. And it was warm enough for me to want to do it too. So we spent some time in the dry pole barn together. They seemed to want the attention as much as I did.
I crouched down and squatted next to Fanny. It took Lulu a little longer but she soon came over and stood on the other side of me. Now I was surrounded and we just stayed that way, still and quiet. After a while a voice inside of me asked “Remember this?” I immediately smiled thinking of the warmer weather when we do this almost everyday. But then something else happened. I felt something inside of me. It was like a thin line going through the center of my body. Straight and strong and glowing white. And I felt like, well it’s hard to describe, but I felt like I was no longer in the pole barn but somewhere else. Not on the outside, I could still feel and see my surroundings, but inside, it felt like I was traveling inside me. Then, in my mind I saw a picture of me and donkeys walking on a trail through hills. We were surrounded by green scrubby plants and walking on a yellowish brown earth.
Then I knew the voice asking if I remember wasn’t talking about the warmer months when me and Fanny and Lulu hang around together. It was going back much farther than that. It was talking about the ancient bond between humans and donkeys. It was reminding me of something I had forgotten. And I didn’t know this intellectually, that came later when I thought about it. I knew it because I could feel it. As if I actually could remember something that happened thousands of years ago, and not to me as I am now. But something I carried in my DNA, something all humans share.
So as much as I’ve been thinking and writing about and making art about this connection between equines and humans, today I actually experienced it as something ancient that is deep inside of me. An untapped part of me that I’ve been circling around for years.
I have no doubt that it was Fanny and Lulu or one or the other that showed this part of myself to me, this afternoon, deepening our relationship and leading me down this new and very old path.
LOVE this post, Maria.
Dear Maria, Your experience reminds me of the Old Testament Prophets who wrote of transcending time and traveling to another place, never quite sure when they returned to the here and now if they had been transported bodily or just in spirit. You knew exactly where your body was the whole time, but your visions and dreams are similar to those Prophets. Annie
someone else talked about it as “living outside of time”. Those words made sense to me. Also what you are describing, I’ve never heard of this before, I’m finding my place in it thanks to the people like you. Annie.
It seems like it’s your ‘thing.’ Not to box you in or anything, cuz that sucks, but that ancient bond speaks so clearly in your art and in your writing. It’s not forced, it just speaks through the stories, dreams, metaphors and archetypes that appear in your art. I really connect to your language, your “dream-speak.”
Nicole, Jon and I were just talking about this today. That it is becoming my “thing”. You said it so well, and it’s good to know it’s seen by others.
What a great experience!
This is the most amazing post I have read in a very long time. I am stunned that you don’t feel special enough for such a connection. I sort of wonder if you ferociously believed you are special enough, how many amazing past life memories would flood in?? This is such an exciting realization no matter what age it happened. I personally believe if you weren’t special enough, the animals would turn their backs on you and not like you at all. It seems clear they adore you and invite you in. They see it in you too?? I’m so excited for you. Remembering past life experiences is magical.
Meredith, I hadn’t thought about it from the animals point of view, What if I were to trust in their reaction to me, not stand in it’s way. Maybe then I could see it more clearly…..
Wow! Your writings about “connecting” with nature, animals, light, your dreams have spoken to me many times. Your words have sometimes verbalized feelings I have had. Often others who maybe are not “spiritual” people don’t understand or even undermine these types of thoughts, feelings, etc. I appreciate your work, & I thank you for your sharing of this. Mary Ann
Wow that’s wonderful to hear Mary Ann. It’s just what I hope might happen. Thanks for telling me.
Trusting animals reactions to me is about all I trust sometimes. Its the one (and probably only) thing I have never questioned in life. Isn’t it funny how different people are?! I seriously just assumed you were so close to the animals because you trusted their reactions to you. I am so surprised to hear that is a challenge. That said, I think your post was more about the higher spirit of the animals? Perhaps its harder to *know* and trust the animal’s higher spirit – the past life bonds – our own higher selves. It may seem so out there, but I have found if I believe it anyway – no matter how silly it seems, I grow as a person and more of my life makes sense. I wonder why us humans have SUCH a hard time listening and hearing these ancient signals? I believe our ancestors did much better job at it. I swear I read a great book about this years ago and dang if I can remember it. Shoot.
“Many Lives Many Masters”, Brian Weiss. Whew, my brain isn’t totally failing me…..