Chloe and I had just come into the barn after riding around the yard. I leaned down, resting my body on her back and wrapping my arms around her neck. She stood so still and I started to relax. I could feel her body relaxing under me. Her head starting to lower. Then I cried.
I don’t know why I was crying. I tried to think about what I was feeling, but I had no words for it. I was just suddenly filled with emotion.
We had a good time together. Not really a ride, just walking from here to there, around and back, short distances. I used the bareback pad that someone sent me. It was more comfortable than the saddle for me and for Chloe I think. When Pamela was here over the weekend, she said I didn’t need a saddle. Not for the kind of riding I’m interested in doing. And that sounded right to me. So I decided to trust Pamela and my own feelings. And I noticed riding bareback makes me pay closer attention. It’s less about trying to get Chloe to do what I want so I can ride her and more about using the riding as a way to better communicate with her.
I think that idea changes the relationship for me. Before getting Chloe when ever I thought of a horse, I thought of it being about riding. About me riding a horse. Now I see that’s just one of the things you can do together. So now I’m not sure what having a horse is about. So many different people have told me so many different things that a horse can do for a person. Things like building confidence and healing. Pamela talks about our ancient connection. I understand all of this intellectually, but what I’m experiencing has nothing to do with my intellect. It’s happening in my body.
I do know that Chloe and I got closer to each other today. And later when I saw her grazing outside my studio window, I got the feeling we’re both were we’re supposed to be. Living our own lives together. And I’m not even completely sure what that means, but it feels good.
For me this is a beautiful piece about the growing, deepening, spiritual connection between you and Chloe. That connection is a great gift for you both and you sharing it is a great gift for me! Thank you.
Love from Fran
I think you may be right about that Fran.