“It’s the putting back together again, the renewing, that ultimately makes something stronger. That is true of our houses, our language, our relationships. It’s a fine balance, making something that is not so flimsy that it falls apart too soon, yet not so solid that it is permanent. It requires a sort of grace. That sort of constant renewal is the only permanence we should wish to attain.” Martin Prechtel
It’s actually the nature of life, isn’t it? I wrote to my friend Cindy. She too has a horse that one day she feels she’ll give to someone who can spend more time with her. As sad as it will make her.
And as soon as I wrote it, I saw it more clearly. Of course the coming and going of animals, people and things is a natural part of life. Children go off to live their own lives, people die, relationships end, property is bought and sold, natural disasters and war uproot our lives.
Some of these things we have more control over than others, but as the philosophy of Wabi Sabi dictates, nothing is perfect and everything is in a constant state of change.
It’s the nature of life.
It was Jackie who sent me the Martin Prechtel quote above. About the other side of things ending. About renewal.
I don’t mean to paint a rosy picture. Some endings are sudden and brutal, others long-suffering, then there are those that ease their way out of our lives. More of a moving on.
And that’s how I see my choice to give Chloe to Treasure. A moving on, for her and me. Allowing her to be in a place where she will thrive. Where the people around her will benefit from her presence. And allowing me to renew my focus on the things in life that pull at me.
I never think of getting Chloe as a mistake. The whole process of bringing her home, and living with her and finding her a new home has made me stronger.
Living with Chloe has given me a confidence I didn’t have before. She’s opened my heart a little more. Her presence has allowed me to experience the long-held bond between horses and humans. It has awakened something ancient in me. An understanding of animals as their own beings, their own nation, with their own lives and needs. Something I may be a part of, but being a human, not something I will ever completely understand.
As Chloe leaves for her new home, I’m finding strength in my renewal of purpose and focus. And Chloe is going to a home where she will be a part of the purpose and focus of Treasure, her children and grandchildren.
Renewal will come for all of us.
Well said from the heart, Maria and gives much thought to life.
Good for you, Maria – you followed your heart, and did the difficult thing: sending Chloe to live with Treasure. It sounds as though she will be just as loved there as she was at Bedlam Farm.
I believe that’s true Tara.
Maria, your words are beautiful. You are truly a graceful writer.
Thank you Barb.
Maria, I have the wall hanging you made that said “The horses have so much to teach me”. You have so eloquently explained how this happened to you ! Just to clarify, I think often if Melody would have a fuller life some where else. But, she is teaching me so many things and making me laugh so hard right now that she’s going to be mine for a bit more! I’m thinking that my instructor may some day raise those poles up a bit that we so awesomely trot over! Please help us to follow Chloe’s transition Pics,a video would be sweet! I know how you will feel while it’s happening I could be asking the impossible.( I never claimed to be low maintenance! ) love to you ,Chloe and Treasure xoxoxo
Ah yes Cindy you and Melody have been together for a long time now and doing good work together. It’s a beautiful thing!
Gosh, what truth is there, in your thinking and writing. I’m going thru my mom’s advancing dementia, and my dear brother’s recently found rare cancer. I’m stunned and paralysed at times, but another day arrives and you just keep going, one day to the next one, because that IS life. I really appreciate this piece; I had a flicker of peace and the rhythm of life as I reread the beginning quote.
Betsy, that means a lot to me to hear your story and know that you can see this in it. Thank you for writing and best to you and your family.