At one of Jon’s readings a woman came up to me and said she would like to see more of my work. I told her about my website and she said “Oh, I’ve been on your site, but it’s not like Jon’s”. At another point in my life (or on another day) I would have been offended, but I was able to say with confidence exactly how I felt, “Well, of course it’s not like Jon’s, it’s MY website”.
I have to admit, I’ve had my fears about about missing my work and loosing myself in “Jon’s world”. I’ve done this before. I allowed myself to get absorbed in my first husbands life to the point where I lost my sense of self. It’s something I’m very conscious of.
So before the book tour began, with the help of a counselor and Jon’s support, I devised a plan to keep help keep me grounded and centered. I would do small and consistent amounts of meditating. I would do at least 10 minutes of yoga a day and I would sketch and continue to blog. Lastly, I would not feel guilty if I did none of these things.
So far, I’ve been doing okay. The train ride to DC gave me lots of free time to do all these , but driving long hours the past 2 days with book events inbetween left me too tired to do much at the end of the day. But I didn’t beat myself up about it.
So this morning I had some free time with the energy and enthusiasm to do some sketching and blogging. Doing my own work grounds me in ways I don’t quite understand, but I always feel better afterwards. So I’m ready for the day ahead and will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
In my opinion, the woman who asked you about your own web site was lacking in understanding of the creative process. Being in the creative arts is enormously challenging. You have to create your ideas, then you have to make a plan, an outline, a design to execute your ideas. You have to have the right materials and tools. Then you actually have to produce your idea – whether it be a quilt, a painting, a sculpture, a book, a story, a photograph – all of this takes so much time and emotional energy. And having a web site is an entire new set of challenges – involving (to make matters worse) some knowledge of technology!
This woman was also not living in the 21st Century. Why should any of us have to subordinate our own lives and goals to those of another, unless they seriously require our care (a sick person, a child…) Good grief…I feel bad this woman had to ask you such a shallow question, rather than saying she appreciated the time and energy you were taking to travel with Jon on this trip.
Anyway, I appreciate you! I think you website if fine. Take care of yourself, please.
Lisa, you must be an artist to understand so well. thanks.
I am so glad to hear about your plan, makes sense to me. I also enjoy seeing your skeches, after all I got to know you through your fiber art. I am VERY glad you decided to post on your website since I would miss it. Way to go Girl! Tess
thanks for the encouragement Tess, I’m surprised by my sketches too.
Hi Maria,
How smart and intuitive of you to actually put in place a game plan for keeping yourself grounded in who you are while on this trip. Once again, your sharing of yourself has provided an “Aha” moment for me. I love your willingness to just put it out there on your website. Thanks.
I think it’s more experience Suzanne, thanks for reading.
Hello Maria,
I have often wondered about how you cope to keep your own essence with Jons. My husband and I have read his blog for, well actually I don’t know for how long, seems like it has been apart of our growth for quite a while.
It is interesting that this morning during my own quiet time I was realizing that I have become lost in my wonderful husbands life, as far as just going with his flow. From my own history this has been apart of my life to allow someone else to give me directions. So thank you for sharing apart of yourself. You, your blog, as Jons, are helping me to wake up, smell the flowers I choose to stop, see and smell.
Namaste
I’m determined, for myself and my relationship with Jon. Seems life is constant work and so worth it.
It is good to have an identity, separate from a spouse. It’s work, for sure. You’re lucky to have a man like Jon who knows the importance of a wife having a separate identity. Most people don’t understand the creative process. It isn’t fair to expect your blog to be exactly like Jon’s blog.
I love your sketches! Maria, it is uncanny how much I identify with your life experiences. Thanks for disclosing. Happy adventuring out there with your man! Cindy