We had our first big snow today, and as snow does, it changed everything. At one point ,while walking up the hill, I looked up and didn’t recognize a tree or a stone wall. I could have been on any dirt road in Washington County.
Later, as I sat working and watching the snow, I thought, as I often do lately, how good my life is. Usually this thought is immediately followed by me knocking on wood for luck, or thinking “now something bad will happen” or “I don’t deserve this.” I’ve also lived with the idea that if I have too much good stuff in my life it will someday end so it’s easier to just not have it at all. But today the thought that followed was “I’m going to enjoy my good life for as long as I can”.
I’m not sure where this thought came from. Maybe it’s the realization that, time is not what it used to be. I was faced with this idea again today as I tried to read the serial number on the back of my ipod but was unable to because the numbers were too small. Or maybe I’m just beginning to trust that it’s okay to be happy and I’d rather enjoy my life when I can and not worry about what might happen.