It’s okay to disagree

Deer bones on spindles on my windowsill

I got a message on facebook the other day informing me of a juried art show for fiber artists.  It was coming from and Eva Capobianco, an artist I had assisted 20 years ago when I was in school.

Eva was making a sculpture for a show on Staten Island NY where she lived.  I lived on Long Island and I remember the drive was a long and traffic filled one, but I didn’t care.  I was happy to work along side an artist and learn what I could.  I don’t remember how many Saturdays I went there, but I do remember we got to know each other because of the time we spent together.  I remember being nervous about working with Eva, I was so unsure of myself.  But  she was  nice, down to earth and easier for me to talk to than most people.    And I remember seeing the finished piece in the outdoor sculpture park although I don’t remember if I went to the opening or not.

One conversation we had, stuck with me over the years.  Eva was talking about how she loved the movie “Field of Dreams”.   I didn’t like the movie at all, but didn’t want to say so.  Then she told a story about how she had a friend who never wanted to disagree with her because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings, she thought it was mean to disagree. Eva said she didn’t understand that and thought it was fine to disagree.  For me disagreeing always meant arguments and anger, yelling and hurt feelings.    I wondered if Eva sensed my discomfort about my reluctance to comment on the movie and that was why she told her story.  Either way it stayed with me over the years and kept Eva alive in my mind.

So when I saw Eva’s name I skipped over all the details about the juried show and sent off a quick message telling her who I was and wondering if she remembered me. When I looked at her website I was surprised to see two  sculptures “Ceremony” and “Ritual” using the same deer bones in way similar to how I had used them on an alter on my window sill.

I love that!  Here’s someone I barely know and haven’t seen in 20 years and at some point in the past couple of years we were doing the same thing.  I think it speaks of our oneness.  Of our connection to each other as humans.  It’s like having what you think is an original idea, then reading that same idea in a book someone wrote 100 years ago.

So check out Eva’s site, she also does some innovative needle work dealing with marriage equality.  You can even buy a note card of one of Eva’s needle works and send it to Barack Obama in support of Gay Marriage.







6 thoughts on “It’s okay to disagree

  1. Maria if I bought one of Eva’s cards I would not be sending it to B.O. I would be keeping it for myself! haaa I do, however support gay marriage. I really enjoyed the honesty of your post. Thanks 🙂

  2. I did not like the movie “Field of Dreams”, either. And I have always found it difficult to disagree with someone for fear of hurting their feelings. I finally discovered that a true friendship must have the honesty of disagreement to survive. Annie

  3. Maria, I love it! What amazing synchronicity after all these years! Is the universe trying to tell us something? Or is it just an outcome of the incredibly small world we now live in. Whatever it is, I definitely got some chills when I saw this picture and then read your post.

    BTW, I recently watched “Field of Dreams” again and I still enjoyed it, but I have to admit it is a bit hokey.

    1. I thought it was synchronicity Eva. I have no idea why I put that bone on the spindle, it just seemed the natural thing to do. Must be something in that.

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