Not Enough Time?

cutting the first layer of batting

One of my great anxieties is about time.  I often don’t think I have enough time to do something I want or need to do.  On Monday’s I go to yoga.  I have to leave the house at 5:45pm.  When I wake up Monday morning I start getting nervous knowing I have to stop working at 5:30. I usually don’t work long past 5:30 anyway but, somehow this fixed time sets the tone for the whole day which is:  YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!

Sometimes, I set myself up by making fake deadlines.   I’ll give myself 10 minutes to finish sewing something when there’s no reason to get it done in 10 minutes.  Inevitably, the bobbin thread runs out or I make a mistake, like putting the fabric on upside down.  Why do I do this?  I think it’s just an old habit.  I used to live in constant  anxiety and sometimes, I  guess I just get pulled back in.

Yesterday I gave myself a deadline of making 25 potholders in 3 days so I would have them ready for the contest on Plaid Friday.  So this morning, between my self imposed deadline and yoga, I found myself in a familiar place.  Once again,  my deadline isn’t real.  I don’t have to have all the potholders done by Plaid Friday.  I don’t ship my work until I receive payment, so the potholders won’t be going out until next week.  And even if I did have to get them done, I could always work as late as I needed to, to finish them.

Plaid backs of the potholders

So today, I designed and started putting together 17 potholders.   Then, as if on cue, my iron suddenly stopped working and I had no choice but to stop.  So now I’m off to yoga and pick up a new iron on the way.  I think tomorrow, with my new iron and lack of deadline, will be a better day.



8 thoughts on “Not Enough Time?

  1. Thank you, Maria. You put into words exactly my feeling about time, a major cause of my anxiety. Now that it is defined, I feel so much better :). Without a definite deadline, have a great day! Love the plaid potholders.

  2. i too have very high “time anxiety”. its a hard one to let go of. i just keep at it with more success at some times than at others. i think it has to do with perfectionism, which is unattainable. i understand this rationally, but still struggle. recognition is the first step to letting go, so i guess its about time i let go of something i recognized a very long TIME ago!

  3. Did you by any chance go to Catholic school when you were a kid? I did, and I’ve been obsessed with time since then. I can still hear the nuns…..”Can’t be late! Can’t ever be late! That’s a sign of disrespect and our Lord frowns on the act of disrespect.”

    But if you didn’t go to Catholic school, then I guess you have your own story. Wish I could break free of mine.

  4. Wow. You nailed it Maria! My favorite days are the ones where there is nothing on my calendar. I get into it slowly but get more and more fruitful as the day goes on. If there’s something on my calendar, it seems to cramp my whole day…even if it’s something I know I will enjoy!
    Have no idea why. Nice to know others have a similar experience!

  5. Yes, just let it go. It’s wonderful that you recognize that your tendency is to do that (fret about time). I love being able to see the flip side of your work!! Have a wonderful night, Maria!!

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