Rose

As most of you have probably already read on Jon’s blog, Rose died this weekend.  She was in a lot of pain and hadn’t been herself for some time, we euthanized her on Friday.

I didn’t write  much about Rose  because she only came into my studio a few times.  She could never relax there, constantly pacing and looking out the windows.  But on Friday, she followed me into the studio and laid on the dog bed in front of the fire.  She slept while I worked on a streaming piece about her.  After a few hours she came to where I was working and looked up at me.  I gave her a kiss, thanked her and brought her back to the house.

Rose wasn’t like the other dogs.  She didn’t show affection like they did and her connection to Jon was intense  in a way I had never seen before.   It took me months to get her to take a walk with me and the other dogs if Jon wasn’t there.  I always felt a bit special when she would come to me in the pasture.  It was almost impossible to get her attention  away from the sheep while she was working.   In the house she would come up to me once a day, usually in the evening when I was reading, and give me a few quick licks on my face, then run back to her bed in Jon’s office.  I don’t really like to have my face licked by dogs, but for Rose, it was such a great show of affection, I couldn’t resist.  Sometimes I would lay next to her on the floor and she would show her belly so I could scratch it.  But she always seemed a bit nervous so I wouldn’t stay long.

Rose was with Jon on Bedlam Farm long before I even knew there was a Bedlam Farm.  When I think of all she did for him when he was here alone, I love her even more.  She was so much a part of our lives I didn’t see that she was gradually deteriorating.  I didn’t want to see it.  It was only when Jon broke down  showing his true emotions for Rose that I saw the truth.  That he knew her better than anyone one, that they had a special bond and I could trust his judgement.  It became clear to me then that Rose was ready to leave Bedlam Farm.  I don’t think she would have ever been willing let go without our help.

I believe in the importance of change of moving on and letting go.  And I like the idea of Rose  passing over into the next phase of being.   But it’s hard for me to imagine Bedlam Farm without Rose.   I guess I’m not ready to let go yet.  I can see her, even for just a little while longer, a spirit Rosie, herding spirit sheep around the pole barn and up the hill behind the house.  Keeping an eye on things and chasing her imaginary squirrel a few more times.

 

39 thoughts on “Rose

  1. Thanks for one more picture of her, Maria. She needed to rest and your space was a sanctuary for her that last afternoon. For you to memorialize her with a streaming piece is wonderful; Jon will appreciate it, I’m sure.

    Maybe you can still see her because she’s still close by; perhaps at some point you will feel her go. That happened for me very clearly with one of my dogs, who was very connected emotionally. As I was doing my chanting practice for him one day a few weeks after he died, a visual image came to me of him leaving; the details of it were very apropos of his character and our connection. It was a profound moment, very peaceful, and it came when I was ready. I think he knew.

    My sympathies to both of you; she leaves a great void because she was such a great spirit. She was loved well and will be remembered well. Rest in peace, Rosie.

  2. Maria,
    Rose followed her nature as a border collie. As hard as it may be to fathom. She recognized a lost spirit. In her time she rounded it up and herded it back inside Jon where it belonged.

  3. Maria,

    Our hearts go out to you and Jon. We are lucky to have been able to visit Columbus day weekend with the boys and see Rose. Sending peace.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I enjoyed reading about Rose and the things you all shared about Bedlam Farm. God bless you

  5. I cannot even breathe after reading this. Very sincere condolences to you and Jon, Maria. Rosie was one hell of a gal.

  6. So very sorry for your loss. She was indeed a special thing who will not be forgotten by those of us that knew her only through the written word. Spirit, please hold Rosie close but let her soar to her next place. Peace.

  7. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Rose. May you and Jon take comfort in the remarkable life she had with you both on the farm. Healing thoughts going out to you both and the dogs as you grieve the loss of Rose.

  8. Good bye dear Rose. What loving and beautiful tributes you and Jon have written to this precious dog. I hope there is consolation in knowing that others cared deeply about Rose and you and Jon as well, and there are tears flowing. She had the life she was meant to have, could not have asked for anything better. The writing about her last day was moving beyond words. My thoughts are with you and Jon during this transition time, and with Izzy, Freida, and Lenore also. Peace to all of you.

  9. Dear Maria,

    I am sorry to hear of your loss. Rose was a magnetic personality and I’m sure she knew Jon was in safe hands with you and she could rest easy. I will imagine her in fields of sheep herding and overseeing her flock, forever…

    Love & Peace,
    Sandra

  10. Rose was and is such a gift. A true blessing. It seems like the past book tour was also a gift – all of those stories told by kindred spirits, and now Rose is gone but never forgotten. Please know that we all share your sadness, Maria and Jon.

  11. Maria,
    My heart goes out to you and Jon for your loss of beautiful Rose. I’m glad you took the opportunity for that visit in your studio on your last day together. What a special memory to revisit.
    Hugs to you,
    Robin

  12. Sharing in your grief, Maria. Rose touched so many lives, and that will be one of her legacies. For that, we are all grateful. I’m glad that you and Jon gave her such a loving send off to her next existence. That is the best kind of unconditional love.

  13. Maria, I wept when I read about Rose. Knowing what a caring, heartfelt person you are, I can just imagine the depth of your sadness, esp sharing the grief and loss with Jon. My condolences to both of you. Sharing about this loss with all of us has touched our hearts.

    Carol

  14. My heart goes out to you Maria. And, I can feel your loss and your love for Rose . I sent you both an email last night but wanted to say again how sorry I am. My heart goes out to you.

    Love,

    Kim

  15. Maria, you and Jon were blessed to have had Rose in your lives as she was to have you both. The hole she leaves at Bedlam Farm will soon be filled with good memories. Peace.

  16. Maria – I read your post and Jon’s this morning and thoughts of Rose stayed with me all day. I’ve been remembering when we lost our Pepper, there was such a huge emptiness. How lucky we all are to have our lives filled with such amazing animals. My heart is with you and Jon.

  17. Dear Maria,
    I am sincerely, deeply saddened by your loss. Rose was special. She will be missed. She was the epitome of Bedlam Farm and her light will shine there forever. You are all in my prayers-but you always are.

  18. Rose knew; she wanted to stay with you for a longer than usual time. She was a remarkable dog with a loving soul. Please accept my deep sympathy to you and Jon.

  19. Dear Maria, My condolences on the loss of Rose. She was a special girl that somehow I felt was partly mine thru Jon’s writings. We all will miss her deeply.

    Love,

    Victoria

  20. So sorry for your loss – Rose gave you a special gift of her company on her last day so that you would have that comfort in the days to come. She was a very special girl.

  21. My heart aches for you and Jon. I know what it feels like to loose a loved dog such as Rose. Please accept my sympathy.
    Much love,
    Uta

  22. Maria -I cried about Rose when I read the news. My sincere sympathy to you and I know she will leave a big empty place in the farm and in your hearts. Rose was an amazing creature with a huge heart and soul and her work ethic and dedication to Jon and the farm were incomparable. I was honored to see her in person at your art show in October. You gave her some peace in her last day and the act of helping her to leave her body was the most loving gift one can give a beloved animal. Peace to you and Jon and also Frieda, Lenore and Izzy who must also feel the loss of Rose.

  23. We’re all shedding tears for the loss of Rosie. How wonderful of you and Jon to have shared her with us for so long. She lived a wonderful life on Bedlam Farm, and I echo the sentiments expressed above, ie. “herding Jon’s spirit back inside him”, and “knowing Jon was in safe hands with you.” So very well put. You’ll see her around on the farm for a while… it seems to me they stay for a while to make sure all is OK. Hugz. Anne

  24. I lost my dog suddenly December 4. I am feeling some of the same things that you are. I like what you wrote about sweet Rose. She was a special girl. I’ll miss seeing her pictures. You and Jon are in my thoughts.

  25. I was so sorry to heard about Rose’s passing, she was such a wonderful little dog and I’m so glad I was able to get to know her through Jon’s stories. My heart breaks for you.

  26. I’m so sorry about Rose. She was an awesome dog and was true to her nature. She had a rich life on Bedlam Farm. Sending you warm wishes.

  27. I am so very sad on hearing about Rose’s illness and passing, from what I have read about Rose and the many beautiful photos of her on Jon’s page, what an amazing dog she was, she had a beautiful spirit, she was unique, my heartfelt condolences to you and Jon. Big hugs to you both!

  28. Maria, Rose was an amazing creature, and now a beautiful spirit. I’m so sorry for your and Jon’s loss, having just lost my big boy Maverick, I so understand the space you are in. May that space be filled with memories of Rose and her most significant role in your lives.
    With sincerity,
    Terri Brown

  29. Rose…a life well lived.
    I am much like Jon when it comes to the subject of grieving. With my dogs that have passed on, I always smile when I think of them. I feel blessed to have had them in my life at all.
    Rose had her own special routine with you which I find extremely special. I absolutely love the photo of Rose in your studio. Her spirit will be on the farm for quite some time. Soak it all in!

    (((HUGS)))
    Stephanie
    York, Pennsylvania

  30. Dear Maria, I also cried when heard of her passing. Been a fan for many years. She was an extraordinary stellar working gal. Coming into your studio and Rosie looking at the camera all day Friday, she was ready. Uncanny. God bless the both of you for taking such good care and helping with her passing. When I met the two of you last July at Battenkill, I could feel that you two are very special people, and I know deep down in my heart you will help Jon through it. Rosie felt your love by you allowing her to lick your face !!! I know not all borders show such affection, owning an 8 year old one presently. I only wished I could have met Rose that day, but Lenore is quite the love hound. I’ve told Jon in the past his hospice work is admirable. And from reading yesterday’s notes, just tell him it’s okay, heneednit explain her med condition, I think it’s a natural question people have. He gave a lovely description of her last days, it is much appreciated for all her followers. It gives us great peace, I’ve read all his books, and I didn’t want to buyt the Going home, but I placed my order with Connie yesterday in preparation for the future with my Daisy Dukes, and in Rose’s memory of course . I hope your heart heals quickly, and your art work is stunning ! Sincerely, paula from Danbury, CT

  31. I cried when I read Jon’s message about Rose. I’m so sorry she has left you and you’re so sad. Much love to you.

  32. Maria, I am crying as I write this, as I did when I read the blog last week. But, Rose got the best of it all. She was allowed to do what she she needed to do, and really be happy with her work.
    And then go home to the people who loved her.

    I just put down my Golden Retriver, and I had a border collie. My borrder’s job was to eat the walls of my kitchen. So I kept repairing them and took him on more walks and loved him more.(like I think I really loved Rose) until it was his time to leave. He is OK, and Golden found her peace. I believe Rose’s spirit allowed me to really say good bye to “Stella”

    I love that her ashes will go by the “squirel”

    Good Thoughts, Be well, Be peaceful

    Donna From NJ

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