Since I started working in the Studio Barn there has been a big hole in the floor. (really bad Fung Shiu)
It was cut out for a water pipe and never repaired. I covered it with plastic and rugs and boxes. I rearranged my furniture around it. Today, Ben fixed it. Bless him, and what a pleasure it is not to have that hole in the floor. When I didn’t see it, I didn’t think about it, but I always knew it was there. Cold, dark and dirty, it belonged under my studio not in it. 
And now the hole is where it belongs, under a piece of plywood that can be removed if we ever need to get to the pipe. Now I can slide my desk over another foot, where I always wanted it and have more room to spread out. Oh, it’s the little things.
Ben also made new screen doors for the front of the studio.
They fell apart last summer, after 40 years, the bottoms just rotted away. They weren’t a standard size, so Ben found some pressure treated wood (which we hadn’t had a chance to throw in the dumpster yet) in the barn and in a couple of hours made new doors. 
It all started when I found a roofing shingle on the ground yesterday morning. (which Ben also fixed) There was not question in my mind that it needed to be repaired. And then I thought of the doors,( which not only looked terrible, but weren’t even functional ) and the hole in the floor. I though of what Patti, who read our Tarot Cards last week, told us about taking care of anything that might be holding us back from selling the Farm. How could I expect anyone to be enchanted by my studio when the front doors are hanging on their hinges and there’s a hole in the floor?
Sometimes it takes moving to get me to do something that is otherwise too easy to put off. It also shows me that I’m still sometimes stuck in the old idea that “I’m not deserving”. I’ll easily fix my studio for someone else, but not so easily for myself. So now it’s done and we all benefit. And hopefully I’ll be more aware the next time I put something off because I feel I don’t deserve it.
Congrats on letting yourself feel as if you deserve just the simple things ! My personal thought is that you have been on the journey with Jon to make this beautiful farm a Home , gave it life , shared it with the wonderful animals that deserve a loving home , let people into your home (Pig Barn Gallery) to enjoy your gifts , and most of all you have shared so much of your home & life with all of us that have our morning coffee as we read your blogs to share in the daily events. I check in every morning and once again before shutting down the computers at night. I can’t recall anything that I have enjoyed reading more (other than Jon’s books) on a daily basis. As much as I enjoy the beauty of Bedlam Farm and hate to not see the beautiful veiws & white rail fence , I also look froward to seeing where you take us when the New Bedlam Farm comes about. I started my life over 18 yrs. ago after the end of a 27 yr. marriage. I have shared my new life with my new husband for 13 yrs. and I look forward to each and every new adventure we explore together. He has given me the freedom to make myself feel as I have deserve anything that is improtant to me. I never take advantage of this freedom , yet I question myself each & every time. I spent many years putting others first and still do to a great extent. But I now “enjoy” doing for others and it puts a huge smile on my face & in my heart when I take the time to do something for myself as well. I admire you for getting to the hole in the floor & the new much needed doors. You are an inspiration to many, and I as one ….. Thank You.
Seems like we’re on a similar path Ronni, and it’s such a pleasure.
Thank you for this post. xo
Hi Maria, The Barn looks great. What an exciting time for you both.
Oh, how you do deserve it. We all deserve great things. Remember that affirmation? It’s the God’s honest truth. 🙂
Now I do Cindy,
What a great realization, that it’s worthwhile to fix up one’s home for oneself! That gift was given to me, surprisingly, by an older, somewhat macho realtor, 20 years ago when my ex and I bought our first house. Almost in passing, he brushed off my agonizing about whether to replace the (rusting) kitchen sink sooner or later, saying “I’d go ahead and fix that now, because you’ll need to have it done when you want to move up from this place in four or five years, and in the meanwhile you’ll have a nice new sink to enjoy while you live here.”
I still resonate in the “aha” of that moment — I was worried about the minor cost of having someone fix it, rather than seeing the bigger picture. And I have never again lived with a rusting sink, or almost anything else that was actually broken, and it’s always felt very good to have someone fix what needs doing anyway, so I can enjoy it now!
Ya know Annie, I thought I’d learned the same thing, I’ve moved so many times and have had that experience. Maybe this time it’s for real
Sometimes, Maria you have to spruce up a place when you put it on the market in order to sell it.
Oh come now, you ARE deserving.
Boy, that Ben is a handy guy to have around. Will he be coming to your new place too.I wish I had a Ben around here. My husband is getting tired of fixing things.
We’re lucky to have Ben and he will be helping at the new house too.
I agree with you. Why is it okay to fix things for others and not for ourselves? How long can a once plump girl, who is now slim, still think of herself as fat? Those inner voices need silencing for such a long time.
Looks like all the snow is gone. Peg
Everything carries with it a lesson. Aren’t we lucky that we know this and can look for it!
Beautiful doors Maria, Ben does good work.
Yes, he does Victoria
What is better than a wooden screen door? We treated ourselves to one about 10 years ago. Love that you get that extra light and the wonderful breezes, so delicious!