I knew there was something in me that needed to come out this morning. I wasn’t sure what it was or what it was about, but it came to me piece by piece.
First I saw the girl and the house, obvious after our move, a coming home. But then the dragon appeared behind her. Fears from the past, but if there is only the present, no past no future then truth is in the moment and home is not outside of ourselves, but where we are at the moment. When I tilted the house and sewed the water beneath it, the dragon doubled as Sandy and I knew what I wanted to say.
I thought of our new house and how much Jon and I both love it and how hard we worked to be here. And how I found myself wanting things to be a certain way, wanting it all to be just right, a place for everything, my mind spinning, wanting it all done now. Getting irritable and frustrated because there is always so much more that needs to be done. And then I remembered, It’s a wonderful house and it feels like home, but it’s only a house. And I thought of all the people who lost their houses, their homes this past week, and how awful it must be for them and it helped me remember what’s really important.
We all need shelter and a house is a home, but not without the people who live in it. Without the people and the caring and loving relationships they nurture in it, a house is just a building. And as much as I love our new house, I would rather live in a tent, than be frustrated and irritable all the time about the nasty kitchen counter tops and the mess in the dining room. And I’m grateful to have my house, but even more grateful for the people who make it a home.