I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. Jon offered to feed the animals and let me sleep, but I just couldn’t do it. I should have taken him up on it, and did later in the afternoon as I napped on the couch.
Tired, tired, so tied my body hurt. But I’ve been on the go for so long, it’s like I forgot how to relax. Even though we have the house set up, I’m still moving furniture around. I go to bed thinking the desk in my office/guest room should be in my studio and wake up thinking the table in the hall should be in the guest room. Then I move them, then I move them back or somewhere else. And what about the stuff left at the old house, the stuff I don’t want to throw or give away but don’t want to keep either.
I lived most of my life in this mode, never stopping, rushing from one task to another and just recently (in the past couple of years) have learned to take days off. It was a dream of mine a fantasy to sit around on a Sunday afternoon and read a book or take a nap in the sun.
It took me all morning and most of the afternoon, but finally, my brain and body gave up. I laid down on the couch with a blanket and finished reading The Art Forger (By B.A. Shapiro, a mystery set around the art heist at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, fun and entertaining) while Jon took care of the animals and fed the wood stove.
So this afternoon was a dream come true. Not one of the big dreams like being a famous artist or winning the lottery, but an attainable dream and one that can happen again and again if I allow it to.
A well deserved break, Maria! Sounds like a fine dream-come-true!
I really like that desk. It reminds me of one my great grandfather made for my sister. It had a beautiful pine smell when you opened any of the drawers. It’s good you were finally able to relax…you can’t keep giving if you don’t fill up the well.
Rest. Rest Maria and recoup your energy and your soul. We all need time to rest and recharge. How nice to have a man who will take over for a while to allow you this opportunity.
Good for you!
I think it is time that you start taking care of yourself and let someone else do something for you. I was like you untill my husband had a heart attack. It taught me to enjoy life and take better care of us.
maria,
yes, you are a human being not a human doing. so glad you took the time you needed to rest. we cannot be are best if we are depleted.
janet
Love it Janet!
Maria,
that is the biggest dream for me….freedom. to do what we want, when we want. to take an afternoon to read by the fire…my favorite thing to do, or a walk in the woods. or going into the studio to create. To finally relax into yourself was well deserved! Happy sunday afternoon and Happy Thanksgiving to you and Jon and the animals of Bedlam farm!
Best, donna
You’re right Donna, Freedom is the biggest dream, inner freedom and trusting our choices, or making them anyway. Thanks
Maria, sometimes dreams really do come true—if you make them. I think we all tend to live lives where we are constantly moving, either physically, mentally or emotionally. It is difficult to take the time to stop and rest; we are so used to moving. It is so important to take the time to recognize the need to relax, read, think, and take that nap. I think of it as refresher time; time for yourself where you can dream the dreams that feed you. We all need to give in to that time, that need. I’m glad that you were able to live your fantasy. You need to allow yourself to let it happen again and again.
Enjoy your day.
Jane
Hi Maria,
That’s so funny that you were so tired, because that’s how I woke up yesterday – after going to bed early the night before. I struggled feeling so physically bone tired for a few hours doing the necessary stuff, like laundry, dishes, walk the dog, etc., and knew I had a million other chores I can only get done on weekends. BUT, finally I gave in as it was such a beautiful day – I had a fire next to my little pond and did nothing for at least 3 hours yesterday but sit in the sun and read my book (“Miss Dreamsville and the Collier county Women’s Literary Society” by Amy Hill Hearth – great fun read) and throw the frisbee. And it felt good – I have to learn to stop feeling guilty for being tired or needing downtime! Here’s to naps!! 🙂
Yay Katy! sounds like a lovely 3 hours
Now, this is a class I could teach…warn your loved ones that it is going to be “PJ’s Sunday”..you are not ill, and will be out of commission for errands and non-emergent (like your pants better be on fire emergent) requests. Wake up late, take a warm, long bath, then get dressed BACK into pajamas..a fire, a book, hot tea, hopefully a dog or two at your feet. So good for the soul.
PJ Sunday I like it Tess!
Jane Mintz has put my thoughts into words better than I could myself.
Cherish yourself so that you can keep on giving in your special way.
Maria, I find your comments strike a chord with me many times in what I do as well. I am in my early seventies now and still, after twenty years, running a bed & breakfast, which, at times, can get pretty frantic. The winters are quieter and I can focus more on my studio work but when spring comes, it takes me a few weeks to get my energy up to where I need it for the B&B. Then I fly through the summer and autumn months with this energy and can’t slow down at the end of my season, which is usually December. I’m in that transition place now. I’m like a flea in a fit trying to make myself settle down. So, I loved reading about how your move and your life recently has accounted for your inability to slow down and rest and enjoy reading a good book too.
SandyP in Canada
It’s hard to just stop isn’t it Sandy.