Ever since Thanksgiving, my head has been in a bad place. Family/Holidays, I won’t go into details, and I know I’m not alone. But it was getting bad, making me tense and edgy, then it started to move in on my work. I was distracted, doubting, couldn’t concentrate, I could feel it in my body, like the flu.
I have things that I do when I get into a place like this, yoga, meditating, talking, tapping, but none of it was working. I needed some outside help. I’ve been to conventional therapy and spiritual counseling, and the thing that worked best for me in both was visualizations. It was Mary Muncil who first mentioned Shamanic Healing to me and since then I’ve been intrigued by the idea. So I went online and found someone who felt right to me. Now all I had to do was call her.
Two days later, a few days ago, I was sitting at my sewing machine, staring at some fabric, the idea of Making Space for Mystery crowed out of my head by angry, painful thoughts. I was frozen, stuck in a bad place, I couldn’t even see what was right in front of me. I guess I had had enough. I got my phone and called Carol, the Shamanic Healer. We talked for about 10 minutes, I knew she was the right person for me, I made an appointment to see her.
I immediately felt better. My head was clear, I sat down to work and Bam! out came these new potholders. Different from any I had made before. By calling Carol, by taking an action that was good for me, I got my power back. My doubts vanished, by body no longer ached and I was working without thinking, creating images that left space for the unknown. And I was having fun, like a kid playing when there are no consequences, when there’s no winning or loosing. Like Red doing an outrun when the sheep are in another pasture. Pure joy.
Tomorrow I’ll see Carol, I don’t know what will happen, but I know it will be good for me and I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to hanging on to my power, feeling good, doing good work and loving the people who love me back.