“The Strangest Chapter of Us”

What my heart
What my heart, One of my drawings while waiting in the hospital yesterday

Last night Jon “settled” into his new hospital bed in a new hospital.  He was transferred there to have bypass surgery.  Yesterday it was only a possibility, suddenly we learn to expect what we never  imagined a few days ago.  Life has become about waiting and the unknown. It’s strange to be walking around hospital hallways with Jon walking an IV line on a pole like a dog on a leash.   And it should be strange.  It’s not something I ever want to get used to.  I want the whole experience to remain like something from a sci fi novel.  A blip in reality.  We humans can adjust so quickly, sometimes too quickly.  Suddenly life has shrunk to the necessities.  Being able to lay next to each other in a hospital bed is like a trip to Disney.  Has it really only been two days?

And we’re lucky, so lucky, this is something that will end, and when it’s over Jon is going to feel better than he has in a long, time.  It’s like  what Jon  says about fear.  This is a space to cross.  Ultimately it will make our lives better.  Sure you can always walk across the street and get hit by a bus.  That part doesn’t change, there’s always that and sometime it’s closer than at other times.  We’ve stepped through a threshold and there’s another threshold on at the other end of all of this.  Right now it’s  like a mirage, all wavy and in the distance.  And I’m not saying I know exactly what’s on the other side, but Jon and I are going there together.

30 thoughts on ““The Strangest Chapter of Us”

  1. Oh Maria, I hadn’t realized, not being on FB, what was happening with Jon and his understated, “medical emergency”. On Thurs. we attended a memorial service for a friend, a life snuffed out too quickly and too soon. We complain about the most mundane things in our lives, people post to FB and tell Jon this and that in anger. I’ve had it happen to me on a dog breeder’s site. It’s all so useless when you get right down to the basic breathe of life in all of us and the motor that keeps it all going, our hearts. Many prayers I know will be sent your way and Jon’s and the energy, which is all loving and positive, will be there for you both.
    Sandy P in Canada

  2. Dear Maria….I love this drawing for so many reasons. The clock on the tree, the branches/roots from the heart. Sitting in a hospital watching the clock go backwards….worrying. Sending love, light, and positive energy to you and Jon.

    You will both be in my prayers and that Jon will have a speedy recovery and feel so much better! Namaste

  3. Sending you love, light, strength, and prayers.
    You and Jon are in my thoughts, as you travel through this next chapter in you life together……

  4. I’ve had open heart surgery & felt so much better after than I did before. I also did cardiac rehab when I didn’t think I needed it. I did. My husband was right there for me through everything. We came through to the other side stronger and more in love. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Take care.

  5. Maria, My husband had bypass surgery 14 years ago. It was scary for both of us, as I’m sure it is for both of you. However, he could not believe how much better he felt afterward. I’m confident Jon will feel the difference as well, and the two of you will be back to your active and creative lives! I will be keeping both of you in my thoughts. (looking forward to another Nurse Ratched photo!!!) Cathy

  6. Hi Maria,
    I too have been off Facebook and blogging for a few months now. I will picture the two of you walking peacefully across your bridge, your threshold, holding hands and smiling..I can see it so clearly in my head right now…All the best

  7. Maria and Jon,
    I have allowed my job to overtake my life. For years I daily read Jon’s blog. In the past two years my job has grown to the point of taking over my life. Fortunately I love the job, but that made it easy to allow it to take over. When I get home, Usually between 5 and 7, I’m done. Hence, I haven’t been able to keep up with you and Jon on a daily basis. So reading your blog this morning has blown me away. I have some catching up to do, and that is what I’ll do this weekend. I send my love and prayers to you both.
    Love, Susie (in Indiana)

  8. You two have the most incredible and amazing relationship; I admire you both. Yes, indeed, a threshold to cross together and a future in which to be together. Blessings and strength being sent your way.

  9. And as you and Jon walk this path, know you have a legion of friends behind you. Hands on your shoulders, offering prayers and support. You can’t see us, but we’re here.

  10. Things can be put in perspective in a moment. The energy between you and Jon is very strong and it makes a difference. It’s nice that you can share your feelings about the situation, as you both sure have a huge following of people who care. One day at a time. You two can do this.

  11. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and Jon. I hope he is up and out of the hospital as soon as possible! Take care….

  12. Maria. I am so sorry to hear that your Jon is having health problems. I am so glad to know that you love each other so much and that you are sticking by him. He is right. This time will pass and you will be on the other side of it. My husband and I will be praying that the surgery goes well and that God touches him with a great healing in body and spirit. God is able. Nothing is impossible with God. I have come to think of you and Jon as dear friends even though Facebook is the only way I can keep up. Both of you are precious people. God bless you Maria, and may He give you strength and help to journey through this time and may He give you your Jon back whole and healthy.

  13. Maria, I, too, have not been on FB for a couple days and had no idea that last Saturday brought you two so much joy and life, then seven days later…
    You artwork and this piece hit my FB page this morning. As soon as I saw it I knew something was seriously wrong. There was this ominous shape with reaching crooked arms/legs. And then there was this touch of you right next to it. A beautiful tree, a tree of hope…but with a clock in the center reminding us that time is so precious.
    I don’t know if that is what you intended, but art is personal to each observer just as it is to the artist. My eye automatically moves from the ominous to the tree, to the hope.
    Your Jon always seems to feel that God has more important things to do than concern himself with your animals or personal prayers, but tell him we say them anyway. We pray because it helps his readers, it comforts us and sends our love to your creatures, and in this instance, to your beloved husband. So I will pray.

  14. Such well chosen words, Maria. Perhaps this chapter will reveal unimaginable discoveries of benefit and goodness …

    Calm waters, my friend. LT

  15. Maria, this brought tears to eyes and my heart. Not because it made me sad but because it reminded me of all that is beautiful and loving and perfect in life and in your relationship with Jon. Thank you for sharing, for taking the time to share. My husband, Ken, and I have been down the road you two are on and there is another threshold at the end of this particular path. Stay strong and love each other with all your might. Always keep letting each other know of your love. Blessings to you both.

  16. I’ve just been catching up on your blog in the last couple of days as my dad, just about Jon’s age, prepared to leave the hospital after receiving a quadruple bypass. He went in for a test, anticipated a stent or two, and then ultimately the bypass was indicated. My dad is recuperating well, and I imagine Jon will do similarly– those who were active before the surgery tend to have very good results! Not to mention Jon’s amazing support network! Although I know bypasses are quite common, it has been a dizzying and disorienting time for me, as we suddenly lost my mom a few months ago. Reading your latest posts as my family goes into it’s next phase have been very steadying for me and I hope they have been steadying to you in the writing if them! Best wishes to you guys!

  17. Dear Maria,
    Been there. My husband had an angioplasty at the age of forty and has two heart by pass surgeries since then. He is almost sixty two now and it has been six years since his last surgery. He still works full time. It is amazing what they can do. Tell Jon he is in my prayers, as are you. The first couple days after surgery will be the worst. It will get better from there, I promise.
    You and Jon keep strong.
    Dawn in Iowa.

  18. Similar to you and Jon, Jim is fourteen years older than me. When we were in the process of building the home on our farm, he collapsed one day and ended up in the hospital with heart problems again, similar to what Jon has. We went thru the surgery and he’s fine now, better in fact. As I type he is outside cutting brush. When we went thru it, I felt like we were in the giant glass bubble on a turbulent sea and that as long as we clung to one another sharing strength, no matter how bad the turbulence, we would be fine. I know you two will be fine as well. Sending loving thoughts and prayers and positive energy to you both as its sometimes harder to be the care giver than the one who needs the care.

  19. Maria, your ability to write/share brings us all to you and Jon.
    I think I’ve checked your website 20 times in hopes of an update and boy oh boy you cut all the miles to inches. Thank you. HUGS !

  20. This is the first I’ve read email in a day, and this is such a jolting blog. Best wishes to Jon and to you. These experiences do tend to help us see what’s really important in our lives. Going through this together will bring a new dimension to your relationship. I’ll be keeping you both and Jon’s doctors in my prayers. Laura

  21. Life will look very different once this is all done. If it’s possible, you will appreciate EVERYTHING more than you thought you could. New days, new visions, new Light shining on it all.

    Prayers, good and magical energy, and blessings coming to you both.

  22. It is these strange times that teach us the most about truly living one day at a time. I have a long story with my husband and hospitals and all that becomes unknown and changing. I know others who have had this surgery, and I believe your Jon will be fine, although there may be some fairly challenging recovery time. Ultimately he’ll likely feel much, much better and energized. It is fortunate to have been caught. His heart is surely strengthened even more by your love and care.

  23. Dear Maria,
    Wishing Jon all the best for his upcoming surgery. Much of life’s outcome is based on attitude and Jon has developed a wonderfully positive attitude and has much to live for. His work in this lifetime is not finished. Most of all he has you to get him through this.

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