The Work of Living

Jon posting on facebook
Jon posting on facebook  yesterday So from the ICU

Jon asked me how I felt when I saw him right after his surgery.  He was still under the anesthesia, attached  to a wall of beeping and humming machines, tubes coming out almost every natural orifice in his body and a few new man-made ones.   His eyes would suddenly fly open like they do on the monster in the final scene in a horror movie, then close again as if they never opened.  Wildly circling, a look of fear, pain and confusion.  And what was I feeling?  Joy, a great happiness just to see him.  My tears were tears of joy.  Elation from relief ,I suppose ,and knowing  the surgery was successful.   Knowing he would eventually get better that his current state was temporary.  I could feel the real Jon, his essence, his soul,  deep down somewhere inside his healing and traumatized body.  Hunkering down, waiting for the right time to emerge .  Allowing the body, (which I could feel very clearly was not Jon, but Jon’s body) to do the work it needed to adjust to its new reality.

And the next morning when I spoke to the nurse on the phone and she said Jon was talking and had taken a walk, I pictured a semi-conscious mumbling,  an unsteady, stumbling shuffle.  How could it be anything else considering what I had seen just a few hours before.  But as I turned the corner to his room, it was like a miracle.  He was sitting up, eating, talking, his big green owl eyes alert and curious.  He had the complexion of a healthy person.  He was back, his body beaten up, bruised and painful, but the two were one again.     When Jon asked if I brought his Ipad, (which I had to go back to the hotel to get, I never imagined he’d be able to use it that day) I knew it would  be okay, that he was ready to get on with the work of living.

19 thoughts on “The Work of Living

  1. Maria – your words capture that experience of waiting for your sick husband to awaken – brilliantly. I love your separation of the “real” person from the body and it’s travails. So heartening to here he’s up and walking and looking for his iPad, thanks for going back to get it :) and for letting us know how things are going with the special gift if communication and perspective you both have.

  2. Maria, the internet and cyberspace is an odd thing but the energy going from your cyber friends must surely be the most wonderful, loving energy directed towards you and Jon right now and in this, the internet is at its best. The other side of blogging with angry folks, well, that’s just part of the game and Jon and you both handle that very nicely. Your drawings are wonderful…keep them up, your heart now looks like it’s bursting with love.
    Sandy P in Canada

  3. Gosh, Maria, I know just how you feel. After my husband’s aortic heart valve replacement surgery, I was so thrilled at how much pinker his complexion was, and how much warmer his hands were. And since they start getting up and moving so much quicker than years ago, they heal so much faster. You’ll be chasing after him to behave himself when you get him home. I had to follow Jim around to make sure he didn’t do something he wasn’t ready to do yet. Am so happy things are going well for Jon and you. Your animals will all be thrilled when he gets home.

  4. Blessings from Texas! It warms my heart to read that Jon is healing and that you, Maria, and Jon are doing well. I only recently (7 months) started following Jon’s blog, then yours. I love reading about Bedlam Farm on Jon’s blog and your artistic creations on your blog. I feel like we’re family. You, Jon and Bedlam Farm will be held in my prayers. LOVE FROM TEXAS!

  5. I am so thrilled that Jon is back at work though you seem to be carrying on his work for him…as if you are one with Jon…imagine that!! Thank you for your progress note and let him know that we are thinking of him and praying his recovery continues to go well!! This will be a week to definitely put behind you both!! Take care of you both! With love, jane and Tom

  6. Maria, this is such welcome news. I am so glad to hear that Jon is doing better; what a great way to celebrate the 4th of July. Fireworks should lighten the sky for Jon. A friend sent me an excerpt of a copy of an interview that Oprah did with Maya Angelou on the 70th birthday of the late author. Excerpts from that interview made me think of you and Jon, so I am sending a copy of some of her words. I think that they relate to the healing process. Miss Angelou said that she learned that, “No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.” I would guess that after his successful surgery, Jon is now at the tomorrow part. Additionally, she also said that, ” Making a living is not the same as making a life and that sometimes life gives you a second chance.” Hence, the book Jon wrote about the two of you, your great love and how Freida helped to bring the two of you even closer together. Now, it seems that Jon’s surgery gives the two of you the opportunity to make an even more beautiful, creative and fulfilling life than the wonderful one you have shared these past four years or so. Second changes are a gift. How many opportunities does life give us for second chances? I wonder. Often, it is the health care scares that give us those chances. I wish you both a lifetime to enjoy each other’s love and companionship in good health and happiness. May the two of you continue to enjoy the beauty of the Peaceable Kingdom that is Bedlam Farm.

  7. What a beautiful post, Maria,
    I believe our bodies are programmed , without our help, to always strive to heal themselves, no matter what has been visited on them. Jon is living proof. The night before his conscious power was turned off but all his circuits were still firing and the healing was on the move. By this morning brain power was reconnected to all the latent circuits and you’re off and running. I’m so happy to hear the good news.

  8. This is awesome & makes us thankful for advances of modern medicine! He is blessed to have you at his side & tuning to his true essence! Both of you continue in thoughts & prayers. Hang in there!! Mary Ann

  9. That’s remarkable Maria. How fantastic to see Jon like that. It must have made you feel so relieved and happy. Thanks for taking the time to share the news.

  10. Maria, as always, you beautiful artist soul comes thorough. You are both very loved. Peace my friend.

  11. Love this post – just read it again – beautiful writing – so happy for you two – can’t wait to read the writing and see the art that comes of this experience you guys are sharing – i send you my very best wishes – I think of you guys often and hope all is well – you have a giant fan club out here pulling for you! Thanks for,keeping us in your loop. ,xoxox

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