When Jon was in the hospital I kept thinking how strange it was. And it was strange and I wanted to it stay that way, it wasn’t something I wanted to get used to. But as strange as it was it was not out of my realm of belief. Most people have experienced having someone they love in a hospital and having to deal with it all. As strange as it was, it was not something I was unfamiliar with.
But yesterday, when our friend Lisa Dingle sat on our living room floor and told me and Jon to close our eyes and she held up her iphone to video tape us then started to say words that are now a jumble in my mind except that they added up to the fact that a bunch of people got together and bought me and Jon a trip to Disney….well that was really strange. Strange in the way of aliens landing in my back yard. No, even stranger than that, because I’ve imagined aliens landing in my back yard, but have never, never, ever imagined someone (or in this case many someones) giving us a trip to Disney.
And even though I sat there on the love seat with tears leaking out of my eyes, saying nothing, my first thought was that we couldn’t accept this gift. Then I thought we could give it to someone who really needed it. Then something shifted inside of me and I felt something new, and the word “grace” came to mind. I’ve never really understood what the word means and I still don’t think I do. But I think at that moment I felt it. It was an allowing and acceptance and trust. And I felt the sincerity of the gift and the giving. It came off of Lisa in waves. And later when I thought of what it felt like, I saw my body filled up with a gazillion tiny glittering stars and my torso bursting open and those tiny specks floating out of me and up to the sky. As if each star represented all the good wishes and gifts that have come our way since Jon’s surgery. And I understood the good intentions that went along with the gift and the gift is the manifestation of those intentions.
And I came to see that all those people, some who I don’t even know, didn’t give Jon and me this vacation just because we needed it (who doesn’t need a vacation) but because of all that Jon had given to them, everyday with his words and pictures. It’s something that can’t be measured but is felt and lived.
So Jon and I are graciously accepting this wonderful gift with gratitude. And I already know the gift is bigger that the trip to Disney. Because when I had that feeling of the gazillion stars, something inside of me opened up and expanded and I learned how to trust in a whole new way. And it all felt very magical, like what I imagine it must feel like to be sprinkled with fairy dust.
Maria, I feel your tears on my cheeks. xo
Gotcha Press Release: CAMBRIDGE, N.Y.
DEA agents are questioning A Maine-iac woman named Dingle in connection with a newly released substance called ‘fairy dust’.
Recipients report a sensation in the torso region that resembles a gazillion stars leaving the body.
Anyone with information should contact:
Oh it’s the best drug ever Cheryl!!
Oops, wrong keystroke…
Anyone with information should contact:
Tinkerbell Lives!
Goin’ to Disney
This winter!!!!!
YEAHHHHHH.
Yay Cheryl!
Oh Maria! I don’t think there has been or will ever be a more beautiful “thank you” than this one. Thank you for defining grace for me, cause I never understood it either..but I do now.
I still don’t quite get it Tess. But I know what it feels like.
You for sure know what Grace is Maria. And it is about Jon’s words and pictures, the “open groups” and you. Very much about you too.
Blessings.
Hi Maria, Oh I am so happy for the two of you! And yes I believe that you are right..it is a gift given with the purest of intent for the daily truth, Inspiration, hope in words and in photos too. Grace..such a word that evokes such deep meaning and feeling..and yes I think that is how you felt.Again I am so happy that you have had the whole of this experience and the knowledge that you are deeply cared for! Louise from Massachusetts
“I saw my body filled up with a gazillion tiny glittering stars and my torso bursting open and those tiny specks floating out of me and up to the sky” and there, Maria, is another drawing for sure…
For those of us who were raised to be self-sufficient and not accepting of such a gift as you and Jon have been presented with, you are right in what you say….Jon has given many people such pleasure with his photographs and his writings that in accepting this gift, is a grace given back. I don’t know why but I find it is easier to give than receive and yet, I have learned over the years that it is as important to receive from those who give, with love and with caring. I sometimes feel unworthy of it although I’ve managed to overcome much of that old feeling that was drummed into me as a kid growing up…
Sandy P in Canada
I’ve always felt that it’s easier to give than receive too Sandy. I’m learning the importance of receiving, it is so much about trust.
I loved what you wrote about the stars exploding out of you, I had such a visual understanding and a heartfelt feeling of love. Isn’t this what Life is about? LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, and SHARING!
Love Understanding and Sharing. I like that Linda.
It is magical, but not just because of Jon. You give of yourself every day, with your words and your art. Your goodness sparkles for all of us and it can’t be measured, either. You know how Jon loves Tinkerbell? I think she visited you !
That must be it Laura.
,,, a gazillion, tiny glittering little stars…. bursting open and floating out of me and into the sky. Oh my. I’m afraid you do have a way with words, and it’s beautiful!
As do you Lisa Dingle.
This is one of the loveliest blog posts I have ever read. Thank you for sharing.
what a rush! Glad to have been a part of the beauty of this gesture
Maria, you are every bit as much an artist with your words as you are with your quilts and drawings. You and Jon both make the world a more beautiful place with your words, art, and photographs, and I am so thankful to both of you for that. Enjoy your gift – I can’t think of two people who deserve it more. Have a magical day!
Beautifully expressed and it brought tears to my eyes also – it is hard for so many of us to accept with grace the gifts of those who love and appreciate us – it’s a lesson I’m struggling to learn as well. You put it so well into words. Thank you!
Maria, you said you did not know the meaning of “grace”. We Lutherans are big on grace, but as a young teenager studying in conformation class, I couldn’t understand it either. To me, Grace was a woman’s name, such as Grace Kelley. However, I did learn that grace is defined as unearned or unmerited mercy, favor or compassion. I hope this helps!
Dear Maria, I have contemplated “Grace” for years, and your definition of a gazillion tiny glittering stars bursting out of your torso sums up even more than I thought I knew about grace!! (and I love what CherylB wrote about contacting Tinkerbell!!) Annie