A little miracle, or maybe it was a big miracle, happened on the first day of our vacation in Cape Cod. Jon looked in the mirror then turned to me and said,” I like what I see”. You know how often we women have issues with the way we look, well it happens to men too. Not most of the men I’ve known most of my life, but definitely with my husband. And so when Jon told me he actually liked what he saw when he looked in the mirror, I was thrilled. Finally, I thought, he’s seeing himself the way he really looks, not the way he thinks he looks. I attribute this miracle to the many positive changes Jon has made in his life over the years I’ve known him, his constantly growing self-awareness and, love. Being loved and being able to love. And I can say this with some authority because the same thing is happening to me. I’m beginning to see that who I am is just fine. And a big part of my feeling this way has to do with how Jon loves me and how I love him.
A few days ago, we had a meeting, and well, I won’t go into specifics, but we were at a meeting that was a bit contentious and as it went on I was getting angrier and angrier. And it’s not like I exploded or threw anything, but Jon was so calm through the whole thing, even nice (which also added to my anger). Usually my getting angry and showing it, would have made me feel like I was wrong to act and feel the way I did. (Especially if someone else didn’t get angry over the same thing) But for once, I wasn’t feeling that way. I was feeling like it was fine for me to be angry and rant all the way home in the car.
And this isn’t just happening with anger. I’m also feeling it about what I’ve always seen as my less desirable traits. My temper, my rants, my sensitivity, my selfishness, my passion, my mood swings, and my tears (not the mention the physical stuff). And one of the reasons for this new way of seeing myself is because Jon actually loves these parts of me as much as he loves the other parts of me. Not that he necessary always likes them, but he doesn’t love just the “nice” me, he loves all of me. And I’m beginning to see that these parts of me are not as awful as I’ve come to believe. That they help make me who I am. And that, that person is actually loveable. But it’s not just being loved, it’s being able to love. I think my loving Jon the way I do, with all his “less desirable traits” allows me to love myself too.
So now I have a new mantra when I look in the mirror. I say to myself, I like what I see. And every day it becomes more and more true.
I Like What I See is Sold for sale. It’s about 19″ x 21″ and is $100 + $10 shipping. I you like what you see and would like to hang it on your wall, just email me here at [email protected].
For me this re
Amen to that!
Such a lovely post. You and Jon have a beautiful relationship. A lovely work of art.
I LIKE WHAT YOU WROTE !!! Attempting to play off your beautiful post ! xo
Virginia said it – I like what you wrote, too, Maria – and what you’ve found out about yourself over the last few years… your voice has become so much more gentle with yourself 🙂
I also like what the Greek philosopher Socrates said 2000+ years ago: An unexamined life is not worth living – but l would add to that, easy on the criticism, mate! We’re just human after all but tend to forget it while we’re busy beating ourselves up over … (fill in the blanks). Getting older has helped me come to terms with almost exactly the same list of objectionable personal traits that you mentioned in your post – which my husband has told me again and again (over 37 short years) were really not as bad as l made them out to be…hmmmm, really???? Turning it around, it ends up being a nice compliment! 🙂
Happy autumn equinox! Sabina
Sabina, my husband said the same thing. Good for us huh?
This is my favorite post of all. ( until my next favorite one ) You tell of the power and spirit of true love so beautifully. Once again, I identify with it all and your words comfort and encourage me. 🙂
Isn’t it amazing the number of people who don’t like what they see in the mirror, or feel as if they just don’t like themselves?! I don’t know why that is; why so many of us are insecure about themselves. I’ve often felt that way and for many years sought help in that area. I came to terms with that long ago; I spent years building my own self confidence so that I can now say I really like who I am. It is a wonderful feeling to like yourself and it allows you to throw away many fears so that you can reach out and help others. I think that we see ourselves reflected in others’ eyes when we need to just take a good look at ourselves and see the goodness reflected in our own eyes. You and Jon not only have a wonderful, open, honest and loving relationship, but you emanate wisdom and reality. A gift that keeps on giving. Thank you both for that. Have a wonderful day!!!!!
Jane
It’s sometimes a long journey to that mirror Jane, I’m glad you made it too.