When people ask me how my Christmas was, to all but a few close friends, I answer, “nice.” But it’s not the whole truth. The few days before Christmas, they were better than nice, but on Christmas day, The Walker knocked at my door and I let him in. On Christmas morning I found myself in a full blown panic. So much of a panic that when Jon gave me my gifts…well…lets just say, I had a hard time receiving them. So the day was bumpy, and we did the best we could, not completely unpleasant, but not the joyous Christmas thing either.
So, not feeling the Christmas spirit, and trying to make sense of what I was feeling, I picked up my sketch pad and pencil and drew. I made seven different drawings. Different from each other and different from most of the drawings I’ve done before. I feel like altogether, they tell a story. The problem is, I have no idea what the story is about. But, they seem important enough for me to want to share them with you. So here they are.
I really like III. There’s something hopeful about the flowers springing from her (your) head.
I’m sorry the Walker visited for Christmas; maybe you should draw another picture with an open door, inviting him to leave. (Do Walkers take advice like that? Probably not, or they’d be easier to get rid of).
And you don’t have to know the story of the drawings right now. Or ever. Maybe they simply served their purpose by giving you something to focus on when you couldn’t look Christmas in the face.
Hugs —
I think they did serve their purpose Karen. And that damn Walker, I’m not sure what keeps him away.
These are amazing. Like you went to a different place.
Wow! Is this the third X-mas you’ve spent with Jon? Third in that particular house?
Wow Maria. Christmas certainly brought out the creativity in you. These are very different from you. I see all the mixed feelings and some ambivalence about the actual Holiday. I see Piper and your spiritual connection to Jon.
Superb decision to sketch through your panic. It’s awful to experience but you handled it like the uniquely strong woman you are.
🙂
Ah you’re making me feel so good about it Cindy.
Thanks for sharing these, the pointy kitty ears, and tall, thin stature remind me of the characters in the movie Avatar. Then I can spot things that remind me of a traditional Christmas, like a snowglobe, and a basket of nuts, the tree stump made me think of your ‘posted’ sign artwork, the electrical cords of some of your hospital drawings… everyone who sees them will probably interpret them in a different way. Maybe you’ll have one of your dreams and the layers of the story behind the pictures will be revealed!
Oh I saw the snow globe, but not the rest of it. Thanks.
I feel that we are honored by you sharing these drawings–truly your own secret, maybe full of meaning between yourself and your husband.
They have got me thinking–I am a now-and-then compulsive sketcher. How would I draw my thoughts and feelings right now? I’ll be thinking of this today…
Oh maybe when you do draw them Erika, you’ll share them with us.