I did not go looking for the horses, the horses came to me. First they came to Jon, when they started speaking to him in the middle of the night and he started writing about the New York City Carriage Horses and the Mayor’s attempt to ban them. They came to me in a different way. Who knows, maybe they’ve been trying for years and I just couldn’t hear them. But I know when I first started to listen. It was with our donkey’s Lulu and Fanny. And it was even before they were my donkeys. Back then, they were Jon’s donkeys. But it was with Lulu and Fanny, crouching down with them, putting my head near theirs, that I first felt what it was like to listen with my heart.
For a long time Jon would tell me that he could see us communicating in the photo’s he took of me and the donkeys. I dismissed what he was saying until the day I felt it for myself. When the physical barriers between us dissolved and our energies met someplace in the middle, then flowed together with no separation.
That was the beginning and from then on, the horses kept coming at me in different ways. But it was never quite right, or didn’t last long.
There was Rocky, the old blind pony who came with the new house when we moved in. He was a spiritual passport, introducing me to horses. Then, someone I barely knew, gave me a free riding lesson. But at the time, I decided I didn’t want to ride. It was when I witnessed the connection between the people and the carriage horses in New York City that I became interested in horses in a different way. It was what I felt happening between them that made me want to know more. Maybe because I sensed that it was the same thing I was feeling with Fanny and Lulu. Yet those horses were so big, they could knock me down with a swing of their heads if they wanted to, but they didn’t. They were actually easier for people to work with than my small donkeys, who I can barely get to do anything they didn’t choose to do. Then we met Pamela Rickenbach and started visiting the working horses at Blue Star. I bonded with Piper, a giant Percheron and over time came to see that I really did want horses in my life. But it wasn’t until our donkey Simon died that I was able to make the commitment. If Rocky was the passport, Simon ushered me through the door. They seemed to know what I wanted, even if I didn’t and they didn’t give up on me.
And now there’s Chloe, my own pony who will soon be coming to live at Bedlam Farm. I’m loving my riding lessons with my new friend Eli. I can’t wait to get to the point where I feel comfortable and confident enough for me and Chloe to be on our own.
Pamela told me that working with horses can make us use both our right and left brain at the same time. And when that happens it opens a spiritual passageway, right up through our chakras and connects us to the whole, the universe. That makes sense to me. I, strangely enough, used to feel that when I was weaving. Working in that ancient rhythmic way with natural fibers. There were moments when I felt connected to something bigger than myself.
Maybe this is why the horses came to me. Maybe for another reason. But what ever it is, I’ve said yes. And I’m ready to find out.