I couldn’t not open the windows. The sun is shining the sky is blue, it’s warm enough to sit outside without even a sweater on. And the wind is blowing. Blowing warm air all around, picking up last years dead leaves in a swirl and moving them from one side of the yard to another. Even the newly hatched insects can’t stay in one place long. The birds hang in the sky then drift off on an air stream like it’s where they meant to go.
The warm wind blew through the screens shaking up the winters dust, slamming the wood stove air against the walls and tossing the curtains around. In the kitchen, the small wall hanging that Susie sent me flipped around. I had forgotten it had another side. “Make a promise to yourself,” JH Ellerby said to me, “stop getting in the way of the blessing that you are. Take a deep breath, remember to have fun and begin”
I went back outside, into the bright sun, warmth and wind. I felt it inside of me, the smell of the damp soil, the heat, the breath of the earth touching my skin. My heart swelled and my eyes teared. It’s not just that it’s warm again after being cold for so long. It’s that the earth has come back to life. And I can feel it inside me. I feel what the soil and trees feel. The gradual rush of everything, all waking up at the same moment. Not electric, but soft with rounded edges, a patient wave undulating below the surface, stirring things up so they can begin again.