Mandy and I were going out for tea last Saturday so I asked her if she would go with me to NV, the consignment shop in town. I wanted to get something to wear for Jon’s daughter’s wedding tomorrow. On the three-way text between Mandy, Athena and me, I told them both that I was nervous about the wedding. I love weddings, Athena chirped from another state where she was visiting family, but they both understood.
It’s kinda like going to a spouse’s High School Reunion, but more emotionally complicated. I’ll know only a few people there, and many of them will be from Jon’s past. This is the kind of situation that can easily throw me into a state of withdrawal. Being in a place where I feel I don’t belong and have no natural connections (except Jon of course). But as I was texting my reservations about the whole thing to Mandy and Athena, I had a bit of an epiphany. This isn’t about me, I texted, all I have to do is celebrate Emma and Jay’s marriage, which is what this is really all about, and be who I am.
With formal ceremonies, I often think I have to behave a certain way, and that makes me really anxious, because I feel like I can’t be myself. But all I have to do is be me and do what I would do. Which is have a good time, talk to people (I had to remind myself that I actually enjoy talking to people I don’t know and hearing their stories) dance, eat and wish Emma and Jay all the happiness in the world.
But I was still a little uncomfortable when Mandy and I got to NV and I started looking for a dress. Discouraged, I tried on a few that just weren’t right until I found this black skirt. Then the fun began. Soft and flowy with a drawstring waist, (aka comfortable) Mandy and I started looking for something to go with it. Then Vicki, who owns the shop with her daughter Niki (hence the name NV, an in envy) got into it too. They were both pulling blouses off hangers and handing them to me in the dressing room, yelling at me when I wouldn’t come out to show them what they looked like. When I found the vest-like top that fit, it was Mandy who told me I had it on backwards. And when I turned it around, it looked even better. Then Vicki found the long yellow sweater (because I’m always cold.) I took the belt off, but Vicki put it back on and tied it with a pretty knot in the back. Without their help, my outfit would be a bit backwards and upside down.
I couldn’t believe it, I was giddy with… I don’t know, girl shopping stuff. Something I’m usually not good at. But we were actually having fun. We have to take a picture I told them. This is a big moment for me. And then Connie from Battenkill Books walked in just in time to take the photo. (Which I promptly texted to Athena and she lovingly replied, You look fantastic)
So now, with my adjusted attitude, and new outfit, I’m ready for Emma’s wedding. Ready to be there as myself, to do what the day is really all about, celebrate the coming together of two people who love each other. And what’s more beautiful and worthy of a celebration than that.
18 thoughts on “Emma’s Wedding, A Beautiful Thing to Celebrate”
You look glowing in your lovely new outfit. You have it right on when you decided to just enjoy the day. You have so much to offer just being yourself and can just sit back and enjoy their joy in being newly wed.
P.S. – love the socks. I have some solemate socks too.
What a great outfit – it looks so “you” and I don’t even know you very well 🙂 except through your blog and Jon’s. Probably because you look so at ease and comfortable in it 🙂 Don’t you love it when “a plan comes together”? Have a wonderful time celebrating their marriage and love 🙂 🙂
Looks great. Have a good time at the wedding.
This is so sweet and YOU do look beautiful. Emma and Jay are very fortunate to have you in their lives.
Celebrate with Joy!!!
It’s a beautiful ensemble, Maria
You look wonderful Maria.
Oh it was such a fun morning! Wishing you two a delightful weekend of joyful celebrating Love you
You are classy, stylish, and always a winner when you smile! You look gorgeous!
Maria, You described exactly how I feel in such gatherings. Thanks for sharing…From now on I will always think of you and let myself relax and be myself. Hugs of graditude.!
Maria, Though not knowing you personally, I’d say you’ve come up with a winner…the outfit looks like you…including the sox which I suspect you’ll not be wearing at the wedding. Your apprehension is valid. If you’ve ever been part of a second family, weddings for the second partner can be stressful for all the reasons you’ve mentioned. Good to remember this isn’t about you (but it really is when it comes down to it…a level of discomfort, anxiety go with being a second partner with former family functions). With that lovely smile of yours, you will light up any room you are in. I hope it all goes well. I’m sure Jon has some apprehension and he’s had fun stirring up the ‘tie’ controversy. I could see he was enjoying his dress presentation with his bloggers,
SandyP in S. Ontario, Canada
What a beautiful story of friendship. I love your message and you’ll knock em dead I know it! 🙂
You look beautiful, especially your smile and that is all you need!!
You look great Maria, so glad you had girl fun putting the outfit together! Congratulations to all the family on this happy occasion!
you ARE so beautiful — love the outfit — totally ‘get’ your anxiety and love the way you thought yourself out of it — good thing to remember — bet you guys had a great time — what a terrific role model you and jon will be for the happy couple 🙂
You are so beautiful! Hope you have (guess it’s actually “had”) a wonderful time!!
I’m so glad this whole beautiful, wonderful, experience worked out so well. To see that look of apprehension when you first came into our shop change to that great big smile, well, I can’t tell you how gratifying that made me feel. Thank you for thinking to come to our shop for your wedding ‘finery’.
Well, you had so much to do with it Vicky. Thank You!
Maria you look “radiant” so glad you had such a magical weekend