I’m learning there’s a lot of information about horses out there. Books and movies and videos you can buy and watch on YouTube and everyone’s personal experiences too. And it’s making its way to me through comments on my blog and facebook, in my email and in the mail. It’s mostly encouraging and well intended and I appreciate that people care and want to share and I like hearing many of the stories. It helps me understand that I’m not alone in this. And I know that feeling of wanting to share and encourage. I do it all the time when someone expresses an interest in being creative. But it’s also overwhelming and can be confusing. There are lots of different ways to work with horses and lots of opinions about which way is best.
And I’m seeing that I’m not as passionate about horses as many of the people writing to me are. And also, I find that right now, I’m not interested in reading about horses. I’m the kind of person who learns from doing, then when I have specific questions or problem I’ll go the experts whether people, books or the internet. I’ve never been able to read self-help books or how-to books if I’m not actually doing or experiencing what it is I’m reading about. It’s too abstract otherwise. My brain doesn’t work that way.
Everyone does the horse thing different. Some people started riding when the were kids, by jumping on a horses back and going. Other people get seriously into dressage or driving. Some people take lessons for years before going out on their own. Some people never ride at all.
And I’m just like everyone else. Figuring it out and doing it in the way that makes sense for me. I already have people I know and trust to help me.
I love Chloe in my way. She’s not my whole life, but she’s an important part of it. Like the other animals we live with she has her place in my life. I don’t have a passion for horses in general. I don’t want to know everything about them, watch all the horse movies and read all the horse books. What really interests me is the connection between horses and people. Witnessing that connection in the Carriage Horse stables in NYC is what got me interested in horses to begin with. Having Chloe I can experience that connection personally, everyday. It seems a powerful things, something ancient and a way for me to be even closer to the natural world.
And I’ve come to love Chloe for who she is. At times, head strong and affectionate, pushy and sweet, trustworthy and accepting. She moved into the farm and within days it was as if she always lived here. She gets along with the donkeys and sheep the dogs, cats and chickens and loves people.
I’m not looking for a horse experience that encompasses my life. I already have that, where I want it, in my work and my relationships. So I may not read the book or article you recommend or answer every email. But I’ll continue sharing my story and I hope you’ll continue sharing yours.
8 thoughts on “Talking Horses, Chloe’s Place in my Life”
Well said. Very diplomatic. Blessings, Maria.
Beautifully written as always and with such grace.
Well, your saying you have your own path makes sense. I’m like you in that I need someone on the ground to help me with my horses. It’s why clicker training ultimately didn’t work for me because I couldn’t work from videos and books and the woman helping me abandoned me when things got difficult. But like you I have found very, very good trainers who have helped me learn how to trust my instincts.
Hello dear friend.
I have read your posts, and watched with detached enjoyment as the Horse entered your life. In response to this one, I say YES. Reading too much, and listening too much to other folks, I believe, hastened along the ‘ending’ of my deep relationship with French. I realized this later, and also that I began distrusting my own relationship and bond , my OWN wisdom, and he knew it. While the subsequent events have placed him in , what I would consider, a better place for him (and my sister) I regret having bowed to popular ‘opinion’.
(This echoes what Jon wrote about animals showing you your True self–or, rather reflecting back at you what you are feeling)
I’ve been thinking of you Mary since getting Chloe and especially yesterday. I know your wisdom comes from your experience and so trust it.
I like working with a trainer as my learning style is hampered by being dyslexic and I don’t process information too easily. I found that I liked the Western mag, Horse and Rider better than the fru-fru Dressage Today publication. I competed in dressage but had to have a supportive endurance saddle, and other adaptive tack. Some instructors can be very confusing esp. if they have no experience teaching a person like me.
Maria, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Chloe and the relationship that you two share. After reading your post, I feel relieved to know that I don’t have to be as passionate about or have the same all-encompassing commitment to horses as those around me, including trainers, yet I can be just as passionate about the relationship and connection I have with the horses in my life. I guess I have been holding myself up to such a high standard that I have been both paralyzed in how to proceed and obsessing over every detail and potential issue, feeling like a failure. It is amazing how your words unlocked the door for me. I feel I can move forward seeking my own path with horses in the way that most resonates with my soul. Thank you for courage to express what you feel. It has made a difference to me
it’s so good to read your words Suzanne, to know we’re not alone. I’m so glad what I wrote was helpful to you. Thanks for letting me know.