Let’s just stop I thought, lets just be still. Chloe and I got to that point in riding when she just wanted to go back to the barn. I could feel the struggle beginning, my mind went through a pattern of thoughts that’s become familiar.
First I get discouraged and just want to give up, then I think I need help, then I get angry. This time when I felt myself starting to get angry, I did something different. We just stopped. Chloe stood still with me on her back and we stayed that way until I felt calm again. It didn’t take long, maybe a minute or so. I felt myself sink into my seat then looked in the direction I wanted to go, turned my body and gave Chloe the slightest tap with my heels. And off we went, with no trouble at all.
But how do I stay in that place of calm and clear direction, when I always feel like there’s so much to think about, so much to remember. I guess the answer is, I don’t stay there. I just try to remember to keep coming back to it. Like when meditating and the thoughts come in, and I let them go and bring myself back to my breath. And maybe over time and a lot of practice, I’ll be able to stay there longer and longer.