I still don’t know what to call it. I refer to it as the experience I had where love was passed from Lenore to me. (if you didn’t read that post, you can read about it here). And after it happened, I remember wondering how it would matter in my day to day life. It seemed so important as I was experiencing it, and I didn’t want to forget it, but I couldn’t bring the feeling back with me, so in a way I wondered if it mattered that it happened at all.
But even though I can’t go back to that place and feel what I felt, since then it seems I’m more aware of having an open heart. And this is actually a physical thing, something I feel in my body. Since then, whenever I feel myself getting angry or annoyed or irritated, I find myself focusing on my chest, where my heart is and feeling a lightness there. And it makes me stop and want to be there instead of in that other place of anger and frustration. Sometimes it happens before I actually get annoyed, but even if I act on the annoyance, I catch myself after that and am able to let it go.
And I’ve discovered it’s so much harder to be in that place of anger than to let it go. So it’s like each time this happens, that space inside of me where my heart lives, expands a little more. And I’ve also discovered that the results are better. Like when I feel this with Chloe or Fate, when they don’t listen to me. When I let go of the frustration, and speak from that place inside of me, they seem to listen. Or maybe it’s that they can hear me better. That I’m able to communicate better. And it’s the same with people too, not just the animals.
So when I wondered how this experience would work its way into my life, how it would matter. Maybe this is the way. And it does make a difference to me just know that this other place exists. This place of love that isn’t of this world.