I’m all dressed up for voting, Athena texted me yesterday, I think I’ll put on my grandmother’s pearls. I knew what she meant because I chose my flying horse earrings, the ones that make me feel special and pulled on my Frida Kahlo leggings to vote in. Mandy was the first to text us, excited about getting to the polls so early.
The idea of getting dressed up to vote never entered my mind till yesterday morning. It’s not something I thought about, it’s just something I did.
Voting yesterday was really special for me. It was as personal as it was political. I voted for Hillary Clinton, not because she’s a woman, but because I believe she would be a good president. The fact that she is a woman, that I got to vote for a female president, that went right to my heart.
And today I’m trying to sort out my feelings.
Enough people voted for Donald Trump to make me think that maybe they know something I don’t. I do understand the hopelessness that people feel and wanting something different. That they’ll take their chances even if they don’t know exactly what that difference will look like. To me that say’s people are pretty desperate and I hear that.
I also believe that most of those people did not vote for the racists, sexist, angry, violent rhetoric that Trump was using throughout the campaign.
I will not listen to the conspiracy theories on either side. I don’t believe in pure good or evil.
So when Jon asked me what I was feeling this morning I said I was disappointed, scared but mostly sad.
I feel that Hillary Clinton has paved the way for the next female presidential candidate. We won’t have to hate the next woman who tries to become president. The possibility has already entered our consciousness.
I’m also determined not to succumb to fear or anger.
So many people are happy, thrilled that Donald Trump won and I remind myself that if it were the other way around, they would probably be feeling similar to the way I feel now. Many of these people are my neighbors and my friends and I know they’re good people.
I also, honestly have no idea what Trump will or won’t do as president. I don’t think he would have been elected if there wasn’t something already wrong with the political system. And I agree that shaking things up can ultimately be a good thing.
When Jon was in the hospital having Open Heart Surgery, I learned to stay in the moment. I didn’t let my mind go to the bad places it could have so easily wandered. I was fully aware of the possibilities but stayed in the place of what I knew for sure at the moment and trusted that it would all work out.
So that’s what I’m doing today. I’m not going near any of the theories of what might be. Trump has already changed his tone by calling for unity and being civil to Hillary Clinton.
That’s what I know right now. And it’s so much better than what I expected.
“Our safety doesn’t come from outside of ourselves” Athena texted me and Mandy this morning, ” Love will lead us on our paths. Something is afoot. Change. I think it will be interesting”.