I stood in my studio, my head tilted down, my eyes not seeing the floor in front of them. What I was seeing was a feeling. It came from deep inside me. I couldn’t express it in words, but I was beginning to see the colors and patterns of it.
Soft, it was soft and filmy. Not so much ethereal, as a wispy cloud of substance. Gentle, but very real.
I started looking through my shelf with small pieces of fabric on it. I stayed inside myself, inside the feeling, only seeing out of the corners of my eyes.
The dusty pink roses with the faded green leaves took up my field of vision. Quiet and a little stodgy, like British tea time, and also comforting, like a cup of tea.
I was conscious of trying to remain in my trance-like state and let the roses lead me.
Strangely, they brought me to the scraps of fabric with wild animals on them. A lion, tiger, leopard and camel. A bear.
The polka dots made more sense with their faded colors and hard edges contrasting the roses. The small piece of purple and orange, hardly noticeable, was the opposite of sense. But then, that is its purpose.
I was planning on using some of the bright-colored fabrics that I got in India that morning in my studio. But this happened instead.
I so needed the break, the space, the time. It’s what the quilt was telling me. Like the space between the rocks in the wall which define their individuality or the quite between the notes in music. The moment in between each breath.
Still trying to catch up with myself after coming home from India. So many people told me just what I would have told them, but couldn’t see myself.
Take time for yourself, they said, be gentle with yourself.
Last week I got acupuncture, this morning I got a massage. I took a walk with Jon and the dogs, even though I thought “I should get to my studio, there’s work to do!”
Being gentle with my words is as important as being gentle with my actions.
India eked into the quilt, even thought I wasn’t thinking of it. The gold fabric with the white lines, which Lisa Carrino gave me, was made in India.
It guess it’s just a part of me now.
I named the quilt ‘Gentle With Myself” because that’s what I was doing when I made it. I was being gentle with myself. Putting space between each breath.
Gentle With Myself is for sale. Sold. It’s 77″x 69″ and is $425 + $20 shipping. If you’re interested in it you can email me here at [email protected]. I take checks and paypal.
Dear Maria, This quilt IS so GENTLE! It embodies everything you’ve written here. I see how this quilt and this post are very interconnected with your post on April 7 concerning the body reflecting the angst (and joy) of our subconscious mind. I think esp. as we age, our bodies tell us sooner and more dramatically to deal with our hearts!! Thank you for these posts, Annie
That’s a good catch in the connection Annie. And I think you’re right about aging and our bodies. I guess it’s the next natural place to go.