They fill up my head like a bucket of snakes
I can’t tell where one begins and the other ends
the silent chatter of their constant slithering is deafening
I’m Madusa inside-out
My power sucked away by the mundane and mythic rituals of family
I escaped
but only got to the other side of the river
even mice know how to get back
after you release them from the Have-a-Heart-Trap
on the other side of the river
I hear the term “emotional Incest” for the first time
and the snakes have free reign
writhing their way into my heart and gut
I think about Patty Hearst, Battered Woman Syndrome, Moonies
I wish I had a name for the bucket of snakes
but they’re too slippery
I tell myself
no one has to die for me to be free
but I’m not sure it’s true anymore.
That snake imagery is pretty powerful stuff Maria.
I used to describe mine as six rats trapped inside a coffee can.
But I got two chances at this whole business of family and have made the most of my second chance. The first time around, as a child, you have no power. But as an adult you have an awesome amount of the stuff. We get to own it this time around.
I always find it interesting Ellen how people react differently to this kind of childhood experience. Many people want to “try it again” and do better. I’ve always had the opposite reaction of not wanting to have to put anyone though childhood again. I guess I never imagined I could do a good enough job. But I have my own family even without children. I think my life with Jon is my third chance. In my own way, I keep trying.
I can feel your words Maria. Touching verse. Makes me want to meditate and “just be.”
Just being is a good thing.
Embracing the dark with the light. All part of the experience. I guess how I see it this way because for so long I didn’t t want to accept the dArk as integral to my being part of what my lightis and made me who I am, but what snake medicine helped me see. Powerful writing, Maria. And I continue to cherish my snake intuition doll I bought from you.
Oh yeah Barbara, you know about snake.