I woke up with the words in my head. “Jon knows just what to say”. I wrote them down on a scrap of paper beside the bed and went back to sleep.
When we moved into our house most of the old wooden Victorian windows were painted shut. They hadn’t been opened in years. The first summer I worked to get most of them open. Sometimes that meant taking off the interior moldings removing the window sash, greasing it with vasoline then putting it back in place.
As of the this summer, there was only one small kneeling window in our bedroom that didn’t open. One evening I couldn’t stand the though of not being able to open it anymore. It turned out to be the hardest window to get open because it was being held in by a long piece of molding on the outside of the house.
After a lot of banging and breaking one of the panes of glass, I finally got the window out and replaced it with an expandable screen.
Then a few nights later, needed to close the window, so I slid the sash back in place. The next night when I tried to take it out again, it was stuck. I had put it in upside down. Frustrated and annoyed at myself for doing it wrong, I went to bed all pissed off.
When Jon came up to bed a while later, I told him how the window was stuck.
“Was that upsetting to you?” he asked.
Jon didn’t care about the window, he cared about me.
You’d think I’d be used to this by now, after being together for over 10 years. But I have a lifetime of experience, before meeting Jon, of being doubted and demeaned by men. Where I was constantly trying to prove myself by what I could do in stead of being accepted for who I was.
Jon has always loved and accepted who I am. It’s not a stagnant acceptance. Our relationship grew out of us both supporting each other when we wanted to change our lives. And that evolution continues.
Today is Jon’s 71st Birthday.
We know each other pretty well by now, but I love how there are still surprises. Like my realization that Jon so often knows just what to say to me. And I love how Jon is still so willing to change, at an age where most people are willing to settle.
I know that Jon and I will have a good time today when we go to Williamstown MA to celebrate his Birthday. When we were first together we’d go to expensive hotels and see plays on Broadway. We had fun doing that, but we have just as much fun going to a cheap motel and seeing a good play a hour away.
That’s one of the things that doesn’t change and isn’t a surprise, how much we love being together.