I’m Dancing

Jon leaned over to me and said,  “This is who you are.”   I looked up and saw Callie leading a triplet with Jackie and Emily.  Reflected in them I saw myself. My eyes welled up with tears.

How can it be?

I know I can’t dance, I know I can even clap to a beat.  Even when I was actually dancing I didn’t really believe it.  When Kathleen told me I was ready to do a slow dance at the Open House in October, I didn’t even have to think about it, my “no” came quick.  When Julz told me I had learned so much in the past year, I only kind of believed her.

It felt good to dance at the Hafla.  I danced my slow and fast dance with Julz and Kathleen, I danced with Kitty and  then we all danced together.  I watched a lot of dancing too.  I liked being there, getting to talk to everyone and share  the food.

But I didn’t know that I could dance until I saw the video that Jon took of me and Julz and Kathleen dancing.  When I watched it, I could see so many of the things I did wrong, but I could also see that I was dancing.  I was better  than I imagined and I could see I know more than I thought I did.

I’m still a bit stunned by it all, but last night, I felt something shift inside of me.

I had a feeling of belonging and a shared commitment.  The women I dance with are serious about dancing.  Dedicated.  But it’s not their whole lives.  They all have families, small children or grandchildren, jobs, their own businesses,  but it’s an important part of their lives.  And we’re in it together because ATS is not about dancing alone.  It’s about dancing with each other.

When we start the new class in January, I’ll be staying a half hour longer, for part of the level 2 Class.  I’ll be learning new moves while I continue  to improve the ones I already know.  I’m ready for it.  I’m committed.  I’m no longer just learning, I’m dancing.



24 thoughts on “I’m Dancing

  1. You are so graceful and obviously at ease because of the smile on your face. This takes mind-body coordination to another realm. I am very proud of you.

  2. Oh, Dear, Beautiful, Brave Maria!! THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING JON TO TAKE THIS VIDEO OF YOUR AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL DANCE!!! For someone who was having a panic attack about the thought of even dancing at this event, it is extremely GENEROUS that you posted this video for all of us to see! YOU ARE A TRULY WONDERFUL DANCER!! That majestic purple skirt swirling all around you is breathtaking!! Did you notice when you watched this video that you SMILED ALL THE WAY THRU??? No way to keep the JOY of dancing with your tribal sisters off your face or your hips. Thanks so much for sharing this most important, life changing event with us. Annie

    1. Thank you Annie. I had no doubt that I wanted to post the video, although I wouldn’t have thought so a couple of weeks ago. It says so much thought about how I feel about it all.

  3. Maria, the word I think of when I watched this dance is Joy. I see the Joy on all of your faces, and it made my heart sing. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You have given us all a peek into what Life can be like when you open up to it, and take a chance on yourself.

  4. You sure are! I’m really happy for you and oh so proud. Thank you for sharing the video. I suspect the you of a few years ago would have talked yourself out of it, but the you of today chose to share your light. Thank you.

  5. Bravo, Maria!!
    I feel such pride for you, and what you are teaching and showing women everywhere. Your courage is catching.

  6. wow! woo hoo! brava! you look beautiful and were (and are) amazing! Hope you has as much fun as it looked like. . .xo veronica

  7. You were awesome and so brave! I love the colours of your costume. You didn’t seem to be clicking your bells; what are they called?

    1. They’re called Zills Hazel, and no I’m not there yet. In class Julz said that for our next session I should focus on Zilling while I’m dancing, I said I wanted to focus on Zilling while I”m Zilling!

  8. Hi, Maria- so happy for you! Your spirit will shine through. Although Jewish , I am of Irish heritage. (my husband of blessed memory passed away quite some time ago after 4 years of thinking and praying after we were married, I chose to be a Jew). I learned Irish dancing as an adult, danced for 7 years- and we even toured Ireland. Our teacher/chorographer would simply go into a pub, and ask if they wanted entertainment for the evening. The Irish people were quite gracious and complimented us. I had knee replacement surgery last year, and asked my surgeon if I could back to dancing. I said I knew I couldn’t leap into the air like I used to, but maybe a slow jig? He said yes- go ahead dance your little heart out. So, we’ll be dancing together in spirit.

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