I Wish You The Christmas That Is Just Right For You

Jon reading a Christmas story at The Mansion

We pulled into the driveway, just back from The Mansion, Assisted Living Facility, where Jon read some Christmas stories to a group of about ten people who live there.  (One story was about a sad Christmas Tree with an ending happy enough to make me cry).

“What if we give the donkeys and sheep a special treat today”, Jon said.  So he took the almost empty sack, with the scraps  of alfalfa treats and tossed them out to the donkeys and sheep.  They gathered around him like kids around Santa Claus, forgetting he’s “the guy with the dog”.

Last night Jon and I danced in the kitchen, before our friends Susan and Jackie came for dinner, to Darlene Love singing White Christmas.  As it was happeningI was aware that it would be the sweetest moment of the holiday for me.

In bed this morning Jon and I watched the trailer for At Eternity’s Gate, the movie about Vincent Van Gogh, that we were planning on seeing today.  Beautiful and tragic, I imagined myself crying though most of it.

Then, immediately after that, the trailer for Holmes and Watson with Will Farrell and John C Rielly popped up on the iPhone.  We laughed through the whole thing and  both had the same idea.

So, later today we’ll go to Bennington, VT for Japanese food and to see Holmes and Watson.

Christmas has long been a fraught time for me.  I’m not close to my family, and for years have been trying to find a way to deal with the whole holiday season.

This year is the closest I’ve come to making it a holiday that has meaning for me.

Both Jon and I focused on the idea of bringing light and creativity  to the dark days.  We did this at my Bellydancing Hafla and by having a Solstice Bon Fire.  We came together with friends, Jon being the nurturer, cooking for us all.  I hung lights outside the house, which we’ll keep up till the nights begin to get noticeably shorter and warmer.  We spent time with the people at The Mansion, who have little and Fate and I found our way back into he woods after hunting season.

Christmas, without the chaos, without the over buying and over eating without the “shoulds”.  That seems to work for me.

I hope you’re having the Christmas that is just right for you.

6 thoughts on “I Wish You The Christmas That Is Just Right For You

  1. Merry Christmas Maria,
    Does Jon make sure that everyone gets a treat? Is there even any way to know? Isn’t it goofy that this would concern me as I watch this sweet video?
    Have a lovely day. We have sun shining on the snow as well.
    Thanks for all you share.

    1. He makes sure when it comes to the dogs, donkeys, cats and hens, but the sheep are on their own. I try, but it’s not always possible, there are too many of them and they don’t listen to us either.

  2. “Christmas, without the chaos, without the over buying and over eating without the “shoulds”. Amen to that, Maria. I wrote on Jon’s blog about my dislike of all “family” holidays, the forced intimacy – yuk. It has never, ever felt right to me. It is so good to know that others share these feelings, and even better to read about how to make it a meaningful Christmas – one that we can feel good about. I see that you and Jon have done it! It gives me hope that my husband and I can do it, too. Thank you, thank you!

    1. It’s an interesting thing Karla, all that Christmas pretending. I didn’t even know I was pretending for years. I still wonder how it is that I feel something so different than the rest of my family.

  3. Maria, I have had conversations with my siblings ( 4 sisters) over the years that have lead me to understand we all had different experiences of the same event. That alone didn’t help me not feel weird or somehow inferior. It has only been through conversations like this with you and others, that has helped me understand I am not weird or defective because I experienced it differently. My brain is wired differently than theirs. And I have come to love my wiring! Sure, my perspective has caused me pain at times, or caused me to stay away, for safety. And that is ok, too. I am so much more settled now. It is so true that being women in our 50’s is such a gift! The gift of perspective, the gift of acceptance, the gift of intentional living – I am so grateful! Thank you for being part of my healing.

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