I quickly sold the Vintage Hankie Scarves I made yesterday, so today I decided to make more.
I don’t have a lot of hankies left, so I looked in a box where I knew I had some from years ago. Most of them are white and lacy, but I found this 1950’s hankie made by a well-known hankie designer, Dressin Depose.
I had forgotten about this hankie, someone sent it to me so long ago. But I did remember laughing and shaking my head at it when I first saw it.
As I looked at it this morning, at some of those absurd Do’s and Don’ts, I saw in it my mother’s behavior towards my father as I was growing up.
And when I got to the one that says “Don’t ever get mad!” with the wife spewing black and red lightening bolts and looking like she’s doing some kind of dance, I got angry.
I realized that I was taught by both my mother and father some of these Do’s and Don’ts and others I learned inadvertently from them and society.
This is all about women suppressing their emotions, or opinions and subjugating themselves to their husbands needs and wants.
I know it was made over 70 years ago and so much has changed for women since then. But it’s also obvious to me how some of these ideas still live on in women.
A few months ago, Jon gave me Rebecca Traister’s book Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger. I keep trying to read it, but every time I do, I start to get angry and put it down. I stop reading it because I don’t want to feel that anger.
It’s a specific anger that lives inside of me. I know it would be healthy for me to understand it better. To be able to put it to good use. I believe it is a just anger.
But honestly, I don’t want to go there.
Because when I do, I usually turn the anger on myself. I wind up admonishing myself for not doing more to help create change for other women, for not being political enough.
The anger paralyzes me instead of inciting me to action.
Maybe I just need to let myself feel the anger. Let it take me down whatever dark and ugly path it wants to go, like some kind of exorcism.
Maybe then I’ll be able to put it to good use.