“To Be Ourselves” From My “How To Keep Your Husband” Quilt

From Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I walked into the brightly lit  room filled with the comforting smells of plaster and steel,  paper, wire and wood.

The first thing I saw, all the way on the other side of the room,  was the larger than life, pink, strapless, paper mâché party dress, then the woman, holding the wire it dangled from.

It was the dichotomy of the two that caught my attention.  She had straight black hair, a severe pale face, black jeans, black shoes and a black leather jacket.

It was girl crush at first sight, I wanted to be her friend.

That was thirty years ago and we did become good friends for a long time. The friendship ended when I changed, when I began to become who I really am.

But this was how I always made friends.

I would see someone, want to be their friend and mold myself into who I thought they wanted me to be.  I did the same thing with my ex-husband. He never knew who I really was.  But then I didn’t either.  Because this is how I survived growing up, trying to fit in with my family.

It was about 10 years ago,  when I first started to come to awareness about myself and had the epiphany, that instead of becoming who I thought people wanted me to be so they would like me,   I would just be who I really am and let the people who like that person become my friends.

I’m still discovering who I really am.

I found another unknown part of my self through Bellydanicng this past weekend. I don’t know if finding my true self will ever end.  I hid for a long time and some of the layers are thick and tough to get through.  But it does seem to be happening little by little.

For this panel of my How To Keep Your Husband quilt, I found the passage by Clarissa Pinkola Estes first and matched it up to a saying from the hankie that suited it best.

The one I used, “If he likes music you must like it too,”  wasn’t one that jumped out at me like the first two did.  But it’s true meaning hit home when I paired it up with the quote.

From the 1950’s “How To Keep Your Husband” Hankie

Knowing who we are and being honest about it, is essential to any good relationship.

Which, of course, is just the opposite of what the How To Keep Your Husband hankie is recommending.

I’ve decided that the three panels I’ve made so far will work well together in the quilt and not to add anymore.  So now I’ll start piecing them and more of the linens I have together to create the quilt.

The three panels I’ll be using to make my quilt.

4 thoughts on ““To Be Ourselves” From My “How To Keep Your Husband” Quilt

  1. I love what you are doing with these panels. Thank you for sharing the personal stories behind them and your bravery in confronting the past.

  2. Maria, will Jon announce please when this quilt is finished. I can’t think of a more interesting topic for you to create a quilt around. I grew up as a remnant of the 1950’s look after your man, support him, raise the kids, make yourself attractive, entertain for his business requirements (I once was in charge of the entertainment with top end executives in the food industry here in Ontario, Canada. Since Mary Poppins had such great reviews, guess what I chose for the entertainment that night!! The next morning the word got around the food trade, if you didn’t buy from Bob Small, his wife would take you to see Mary Poppins. I’m still blushing over that one all these years later). I’m looking forward to your creation, Maria, it will be humorous, that I know.
    Sandy Proudfoot

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