Sweet Emptiness


When I looked up, I saw Jon and Bud between Lulu and Fanny’s heads.

I sat on the feeder in the barn yard, lowered my head and waited.  Within moments Lulu came and stood by my side, then Fanny came, nudging me with her nose to scratch her.

But that’s not what I wanted.  I wanted to just sit, like the donkeys do when they stand so still, with their heads low.  They communicate so much with their heads, often using them like hands and I wanted to do the same.

So I ignored Fanny’s nudging, held my hands in my lap and closed my eyes.

Quietly, the three of us sat that way.

And I thought about the red dahlia’s in the garden that are so heavy they nod on the stem instead of bringing their faces to the sun like so many other flowers do.

I thought about the girl from Myanmar in Sue Silverstein’s class, who grew up in a  refugee camp, and learned to keep her glance to the ground because it was dangerous for girls to make eye contact with men.

And then my mind cleared and I was just sitting with Fanny and Lulu in the barnyard.  And feeling the sweet emptiness what comes with stillness.


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