Angels In My Life

A Ramshorn snail shell in a circle of Sunflower pollen

I was failing Biology.  It was required for the Liberal Arts degree at the Community College I was going to.  I hadn’t taken any science classes in High School and I had no idea what my Biology teacher was talking about.

After barely passing the first two tests, a classmate, who I only remember as Daisy, (although I’m sure that wasn’t her real name, I think of her that way because she reminded me of a flower) asked me if I wanted to study with her.

I only knew Daisy a couple of months, I never saw her again after that class, but she taught me how to put what I was learning into context.  So I wasn’t just memorizing words and their meanings.  She taught me how to study.

The next time I took a test in that Biology class I did so well the teacher thought I was cheating.  For the next test, she made me sit in the front of the room away from the rest of the class.

Because of what Daisy taught me, I did well, not only in Biology but in every class I took after that.

When I think of Daisy now, I believe that she was an angel.

Not in the traditional way.  I put those winged beings in flowing gowns in the same category as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  And I don’t claim she was an angel to everyone in every situation in her life.

But there are people who have come into my life for a very brief period of time and have taught me something lifechanging.

It’s as if something has brought us together at just the right moment.  And because they seem to come when I need them and leave when I’ve learned what I need to know, they feel like angels to me.

My most recent therapist, Devon was one of them.

I only spoke to her for a total of three and a half hours over a month and a half, I never saw her, she was a voice on the phone, and then she was mysteriously gone.

But in that time I felt like she knew me better than some people I’ve known my whole life.

I went to Devon with a specific issue I wanted to deal with. She completely understood my situation and affirmed my feelings and beliefs.   We talked easily and she got to the heart of the matter quickly.

She gave me a tool that taught me how to deal with my anxiety and panic.

It wasn’t a miracle.  I was very aware of my issues and the outcome I was looking for when I began talking to Devon.  I was also determined to get to a better place.  And I did the work.  I continue to do the work.

The magical part is that Devon seems to have been just the right person at just the right time to help me.

I was already considering leaving therapy soon when I heard that Devon wouldn’t be coming back.  So as jarring as it was to lose my therapist so suddenly, emotionally I was in a good place to deal with it.

Today I spoke to another therapist from the same program through my Health Insurance, and it was clear to me that I’m done with therapy for now.

One of the reasons I looked for another therapist was because I liked the idea of having someone who knew me, that I could return to in the future if I needed it.  But the way this program works, once I stop regular sessions, I wouldn’t necessarily be talking to the same therapist again anyway.

Because of that, I wouldn’t use this program again and probably wouldn’t have to begin with if I understood that.

But even knowing all that, I’m glad I did.

It turned out that it was just what I needed. And it makes me feel even more that there was something special going on that brought me and Devon together.

So, for me, Devon was an angel.

2 thoughts on “Angels In My Life

  1. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. This has been true for me, all my life. When I’ve looked back on my life, I can see my angels, too. When we want to move forward, when we seek improvement, a space opens inside of us so that the angels can do their thing. I believe that each time I’ve had the experience of of an angel, I become softer, less resistant to assistance. Being able to ask for help is growth. Why we humans find it so hard to ask for help, I will never know, although I think it has something to do with the obsession to “go it alone, get through it, be strong, you can do it” mentality that we as a society seem to worship. Good Lord, there is no more damning belief than that, I think. We do need help. I think the balance is important, giving help to others, and asking for the help we need. I love your honesty, Maria.

  2. Of course Karla, that makes sense. I agree with you about asking for help. I think it is partly an ethic in our society, but I don’t know that it’s easier in other places. It does seem a human trait.

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