After The Accident

“Maybe we can stop by and visit my car,” Jon said,” we’ll be driving right by it”.

We were on our way to Bennington to pick up food at the Farmers Market and run a bunch of errands.  And we were driving past  Precision Collision where Jon’s car was taken after his accident on Friday night.

Of course, we stopped.

I don’t really want to write about the accident.  You can (if you haven’t already) read about it here on Jon’s blog.  Also, I think Jon captured just what I was feeling in the photo of me he posted.

But I will say that even though Jon wasn’t, thankfully, hurt in the accident (no one else was involved), I could tell how shaken up he was about it.   Because even though his car was hanging over a culvert looking like it only needed to be breathed on to roll over, he didn’t even think to take a picture until over an hour after I had gotten there.

As much as Jon loves his car to me it’s just a car.

I was, of course, just grateful that he was okay.  I only wished I had thought to bring him a warmer coat and gloves.  We were standing outside for a few hours as two tow truck guys figured out how to get the car back on the road.

It was both impressive and nerve-wracking to watch.

But I really felt that Jon was doing better after we had gotten home and he wrote about it.  If Jon is writing, he’s on his way to being okay.

There were some very sweet moments surrounding the accident.  Like how so many people stopped to help. Some of them pulled Jon out of the car when he couldn’t even get the door open.  They made sure he wasn’t hurt and the police were on their way before leaving.

I keep thinking about how Jon said he was so happy to see my car coming over the hill.  That just knowing I was there made him feel better.

I don’t know if has to do with being older or if it’s just that I love Jon in a way that I’ve never loved anyone else before. But when something like this happens, I feel like it makes me stronger.  Makes me want to be there for him more.

Maybe it’s just that we trust each other enough to allow something like this to open us up.

I think in the past with other relationships in my life, it would have had the opposite effect on me.  It would shut me down, making me feel more frightened and alone.

I bought Jon flowers a couple of weeks ago and there were two white roses in the bouquet.  They’ve open up, their soft petals spiraling out like rings on the water.

That’s just what I feel in my chest when I think of Jon after the accident, napping on the chair in the living room, Bud on his lap, and Zinnia at his feet.

Like my heart is blossoming, vibrating inside of me with an almost imperceptible hum.