Jesus Loves Me This I Know…..

Zinnia in the Battenkill this morning

“Jesus loves me this I know….how does that song go?” I asked Jon this morning as we lay in bed, for just ten more minutes.

I was bringing myself lower and lower.  I woke up wondering what would happen if people stopped buying my art.  Someday it will happen I said to Jon, it happens to everyone.  “What about living in the Now?” Jon asked.  But I was sinking deep maybe I’d already sold my last quilt, my final potholder.

That’s when Zinnia started licking my toes.  Zinnia loves me I thought, which got me thinking of the Jesus song.

It was 8oclock when I finally pulled myself out of bed.  As I fed the dogs I typed  Jesus lives me this I know into my iPhone.  There were lots of versions but I settled one by Wendy Christian & Kids Party Crew.  I started singing along then ran back upstairs where Jon was sitting on the edge of the bed.

I can’t explain why the song popped into my head. I’d never sung it before, not that I remember. And I’m only remotely interested in Jesus, mostly since meeting Jon, who thinks about Jesus much more than I do.

But there it was offering itself up to me.

Jon pulled up the words on his iPhone, (there are several verses) and we sang along.  Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.  As we sang I began to cry.

I sang and cried, and I began to feel better.

I can’t explain this.  I know that singing feels good, that it releases endorphins that affect us in a positive way psychologically.   It’s the same for birds and I’d guess any other animals that “sings”.  So I get it on that level.

But I was feeling something else too.  I could feel it swelling inside of me as I sang.  There was something about saying the words out loud, in pronouncing unequivocally that this invisible being loved me, that comforted me.

In those moments, I believed it.  I believed that Jesus loved me and it made a difference.  It made me feel loved and like things would be okay.

I’ve read that there are parts of the brain that are activated when people have these kinds of  “God feelings.”  Which raises the chicken and egg questions of which happens first.  Is it that our brain is activated so we feel the presence of a god-like being or do we have contact with a god-like being and our brain is activated.

I don’t claim to know.  But this morning I was going the spiritual route.

Instead of getting dressed for the day, I put on my bathing suit and told Jon I was going to the river to Baptize myself.  I needed a new start.

“Take Zinnia,” he shouted from the shower.”

“Zinnia loves me this I know, I sang in my head, be-cause she licks my toes.”

The Battenkill was deep, rushing, and icy cold from all the rain. I threw myself in and quickly popped back up, out of breath.  It was so cold the troubled tooth I had work done on last week began to ache.  I stood in the freezing water, up to my thighs, indulging in its shocking benefits.

Zinnia joined me, unfazed by the cold, swimming close to the bank, careful not to getting caught up in the current.

I ducked under the water one more time before leaving.  On the way home I turned up the volume on my car radio and sang along with Wendy and the Kids…

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so….

14 thoughts on “Jesus Loves Me This I Know…..

  1. Oh, how I felt this along with you. I distinctly remember a “God moment” myself and how it brought me to tears during a dark night of the soul time. It was also a level of healing and awe that I needed. To finally understand and feel for the first time I was safe despite my past trauma.
    Your art is so much a part of you. To lose that can feel vulnerable.
    And I so appreciated your humor also and laughed out loud when you sang, Zinnia loves me this I know, I
    be-cause she licks my toes.” Right?!

  2. Jesus loves me, this I know
    For the bible tells me so,
    Little ones to him belong
    They are weak but he is strong,
    Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, the bible tells me so.

  3. Maria, your Jesus Loves Me post is poignant in so many ways, but also so so uplifting. It conveys hope, new beginnings, and abounding love. I’m saving it to re-read many times now and in the future. Thank you.

  4. Maria, what a gift for you! Your tears say more than anything. You responded to Jesus truly letting you know He loves you and doesn’t want you to worry about anything. We hear you. Joan

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