It began with an error in my banking. The check I deposited last week still hadn’t shown up in my online statement. It was the money I was going to use to pay off the balance of processing my wool from the spring. Maria at the bank was looking into it, but she said it could take all day.
Money is one of those things that I’ve always had issues with. When something like this happens, I panic which isn’t necessary or useful.
Knowing I might have a day of waiting ahead of me, instead of letting it bring me further down, I decided to use my energy to create something. I searched my studio and kept coming back to the Antique Pineapple quilt square that came in the box of fabric that Susan gave me. A note identifying it was pinned to the corner.
I was originally thinking it would make a nice pillow, but I needed to make something bigger. I tried to push the pineapple square out of my mind, but it kept coming back.
It was that little pale green square in the center of the “Pineapple” that drew me.
It seemed to me, the center of calm.
There is a small space inside of me that I’m usually able to access in times like these if I remember to. Sometimes I see it as a speck of soft blue sky, an opening between thick gray clouds. This place of calm resides in the center of my chest, in my heart chakra. When I go there, the world can be swirling around me but that place inside of me is timeless, eternal. A brimming void that can’t be swayed.
At the same time, an image from Lauren Groff’s new book Matrix kept coming to me.
It’s the story of Marie, a French Abbess in England, in the 12th century who does what she needs to, to create a safe and prosperous world for the nuns in her monastery. One of the things she builds is a labyrinth to keep invaders away. As I worked on the quilt I kept seeing and feeling the labyrinth, as Groff describes it, with the Monastery at its center.
The bank error, which turned out to be my error was cleared up by early afternoon, thanks to Cherly who sent me the missing check and let me know it had been cashed and to Maria at the bank. It turned out that I’d deposited it into one of Jon’s accounts by mistake. (I brought Maria a succulent this morning to thank her for her help. She has several at her counter so I knew she’d like one).
But that didn’t change how I felt about the quilt and I kept working on it till the full moon lit up the night.
And now, I’m going to work on it some more.
It’s a garden, Maria.
That is definitely a part of it too Jan. I love that you saw it.
When I looked at your quilt I was drawn to the center rectangle that includes the pineapple square. It said “ step through my door and find a new journey” . It was something I needed to see as I contemplate my final year teaching in the preschool I’ve been at for 27 years. As one chapter closes a new journey awaits!
I love that the quilt spoke to you Josie. That you were able to hear it. How exciting for you to be on your new journey soon.