Yesterday I wrote about how I needed to focus on my Raven fabric painting. To give it the time it needed to become the piece of art that says what I want it to.
For me, the creative sweet spot is somewhere between working too quickly and procrastinating. Both of those come from anxiety and sometimes they work for me. Sometimes they don’t.
But when it is in between the two, like it was today, things fall into place, and my confidence steadies me.
After painting the Turtles and Ravens for some Potholders today I moved on to my Raven fabric painting.
I used up the last of my black thread stitching the defining lines. Then I stopped.
Last week in Bellydancing class as we were practicing Zilling (that’s the little cymbals we wear on our fingers and play to the beat while we dance) my teacher Julz told me that I was “loud and clacky”.
A secret smile grew inside of me.
I know it wasn’t a compliment and she was talking about my Zilling, not my personality, but for the first time in my life that I can remember, I liked the idea of being someone who stands out, even if in an obnoxious way, instead of someone who wants to be anonymous.
But loud and clanky aren’t desirable when it comes to Zilling. So I’ve been practicing Zilling with my hands relaxed, so the Zills make a softer ringing, more musical sound.
That’s what I was doing in my studio when was looking at the Ravens I painted on an old hand-stitched quilt yesterday. Walking around the painted Ravens hanging from my ceiling, Zilling softly, the steady galloping beat all but lulling me into a trance.
That’s when I noticed the paint on the back of the quilt. It had bled through from the front accentuating the hand stitching and creating a one-of-a-kind design.
I thought it would make a wonderful background for the Raven. So this morning I experimented with different colors (green, yellow, and red) and consistencies of paint.
I decided on a pale red/pink, lighter than the color I came up with today.
But as I’m writing this, I’m thinking that a blue might work better. Something like the blue which bled out from the Raven like an aura. Perhaps that color continued. Radiating out around the bird in the contrasting geometric patterns of the old hand stitching.
I love the blue aura around the raven. It feels like it adds another dimension. Lovely
Ah, good LoisJean, that’s what I’m hoping for.
Seems like a very significant change in your self confidence to be able to enjoy clanking the zills while also understanding the intent of her comment and practice being more relaxed while zilling. For me it’s always a positive sign of growth when I can switch from my “either /or” thinking (my inner critic) to “both/and”, an acceptance of constructive critique.
Sounds like a shift to self acceptance. Kudos to you
That’s a good way of looking at it LoisJean. I’m still trying to figure out why I’m so open to criticism in dance. I think It’s because I came to it knowing nothing and wanting to learn. I kind of turned myself over to it and my teachers. I’m constantly finding out that I’m doing things wrong that I thought I was doing right. Normally, I think that would bother me, but with dance I find it fascinating.