Taking Time Off

My mother died this morning.  She was  94 years old and in poor health.    As I’ve written before, my relationship with my mother was difficult.   Still, I loved her, and I want to take time to grieve in my own way and process her death.

When important events happen in my life I like to think about looking back on that time and being able to say to myself that I did well.   I want to do this well.

So,  for now, I will not be blogging.  I’ll be back when it feels right.

41 thoughts on “Taking Time Off

  1. My prayers and heart are with you Maria for the passing of your mother. May you remember the better moments spent with her, that’s what love helps us do. Blessings during this time, Joan

  2. “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” — Mary Oliver

    Wishing you peace Maria during those moments you need it most.

  3. Peace and blessings on your Mother’s spirit as she moves on.
    Wishing you peace and comfort as you come to terms with this life change.
    Relationships with parents and/or siblings can be complicated; time will bring healing.

  4. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mother. I still greive for the loss of mine even though it has been 10 years.

  5. To heal our souls, sometimes in life we have to make choices. They are hard on our hearts but necessary, if we are to survive and care for ourselves.
    Sometimes they involve the realisation that our family, are the very people who hurt us most. But even knowing this, they continue to live embedded in parts of our heart and can never be totally dislodged. I like to believe that this little shard of them that remains embedded within us, regardless of therapy etc, is maybe a necessity. That our hearts are big and full of love and though we can’t have them in our lives, we will continue to wish them well rather than hate them, as that hate will only turn inwards and hurt us. So the shards stays, and in our healing, we acknowledge our reality, whilst also knowing somewhere within us that they really hadnt got it within themselves to do anything differently. It doesn’t excuse their behaviours, invite them back into our lives or change how we are protecting ourselves.
    But that little shard of love or understanding we carry prevents us from becoming like them. So we get to grow and have a chance at becoming our best selves, regardless of how they caused us to suffer. We move away from a life of isolation, fear, grief, to one of immense possibilities. All because that shard prevented us from being eaten up by all the negativity we could have felt.
    I hope that at this time you are wrapped in kindness and comfort as you process the next stage in your healing.
    I appreciate your sharing your path to healing.

  6. Sorry your mother died
    You only have one mother
    She lived a long life
    Take whatever earth time and heaven time
    To process your loss

  7. Maria, I’m so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. Please accept Pat’s and my most sincere condolences. We will keep you and Jon in our thoughts and prayer. I know of what you write when it comes to parental relationships. Taking time now to reflect and contemplate,I believe will be good for your soul. Peace and Live, Ken and Pat

  8. I am deeply sorry. Losing your mom is very sad no matter your history. I hope you look back to small moments that help you remember joy.

  9. I’m sorry for your loss, Maria. I admire your truthfulness in writing about your relationship with your mother as you have over the years.
    Take all the time you need, we all grieve in our own way. My thoughts are with you.

  10. I am glad that you know what you need to do for yourself right now. Taking time to feel is the only way I have learned to move through the things that are seated deeply within myself. We only have one mother, so no matter what the relationship has been, there is a connection that is severed.
    Holding you in a warm cocoon as you move through your feelings.

  11. Dear Maria,
    I am very sorry to hear of your mothers passing. It is always hard to lose a mom and I think even harder when the relationship has been a difficult one. Sending sympathy and best wishes to you, Susie

  12. Please accept my sincere sympathy. Your mom produced you, thus giving a blessing to the world. Time and pondering will ease the sorrow and any regrets. Take care.

  13. so mistical….even the wildflowers in the grass and fog…really gray and beautiful. nice job with the photo your artist’s eye never fails. be at peace with your re-set time.

  14. Blessings Maria, you will find the wisdom, it may take much time. At 70, 30 years after my mother’s death, I continue to unravel and find hidden folds of not only my relationship with my troubled mother but her troubled life and spirit.

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