A One Car Family

We were on our way to Jon’s follow-up eye appointment when I got the call.  I’ve been going back and forth with two car insurance companies, the collision repair shop and the rental car dealer since my car accident a week and a half ago.

Today I found out that my car is totaled.

I’m still waiting to hear the final numbers, but it appears my car held its value.  Since the pandemic used car prices have soared and my 2014 Hyundai is worth about the price I paid for it used in 2018.

Jon and I discussed our options,  use the money I get, add a few thousand dollars to it and repair my car.  Use the money as a downpayment for a new used car, or not replace the car at all and be a one car family.

I never would have even considered that last option even a year ago.

But I’ve gone through some big  changes in the past year and now the idea seems like a good one to me.

Driving and having my own car has always been a sense of independence for me.  I got my license as soon as I could and had my own car, a 1967 Ford Falcon, before I passed my drivers test.

The car was given to my father by a friend who said if he could get it started and drive it away he could have it.  I gave my father $100 for the car because I didn’t want him to be able to say he gave it to me. I wanted to make sure it was mine.

Growing up I’d watched my mother, who didn’t have a drivers license, be dependent on my father to take her places.  Even though I didn’t understand it at the time I had the sense that her not driving was about control.  Later I remember hearing my father say he didn’t want my mother  to drive because then she might not need him anymore.

Back then, a car was freedom to me.   And just the idea that I could get into my own car and go anyplace I chose (even though I never went far) gave me the feeling of safety.  Like I could get away if I had to.

When I got divorced my name was the only one on the title of my car for the first time in 21 years.  I didn’t have a house, or many possessions, but I had my car.  And it was all mine.

Yet today, as Jon and I talked about it, the idea of sharing a car didn’t have any of the emotional kick that it always did for me.  My car sits in the driveway days at a time without me driving it.  I take it to Bellydancing once a week, to town a few times a week, lunch with Mandy every other weeks and to meet friends every once in a while.

I never imagined not having a car of my own.  But the more Jon and I talked about the pros and cons of having one car, the more sense it made.

Sure there would be times when we wished we had another car, but the way we live our lives, we should be able to make it work.  We’ll have to think about our schedules more and make some compromises, (Jon already called our mechanic and set up a plan for getting someone to pick up the car and drop it off if we need) but we think it can work.

I’m also  thinking of getting a bicycle which I could easily ride into town.

It will be less expensive to have one car and better for the environment.  And if we find it doesn’t work, we can alway get another car.

And emotionally,  I realized  that I don’t need a car to help make me feel independent anymore. I also don’t need my own car to feel safe.

For the first time in my life I finally feel both those things inside of myself.  And I trust Jon more than I ever have.  I can’t think of a safer place than being on the farm with him.

Jon has he own feelings about it, about his place in life and the things he can no longer do, like comfortably driving at night.  I’m sure he’ll be writing about it.

It’s a big step and a big change for both of us.  But one that feels like a good thing and I can imagine it working our just fine.