How Jon’s Photo Of My “Four Oak Leaves” Holding Pillow Brought Me Back

Jon asked me what was wrong.  I’d been down all night, just couldn’t come out of it.

I knew what it was that was bothering me.  It was the Four Oak Leaves Holding Pillow I made that day.  Actually not the pillow itself, I liked the pillow, it was the picture of the pillow that I had posted on my blog that was bringing me down.

I knew the photo I took wasn’t a good one when I took it.  But as much as I tried, I couldn’t get the colors right.

I’ve come up against this before.  When there are a lot of soft color and one bright or deep  one, like the red in Four Oak Leaves, it throws all the other colors off.

Now watching an Agatha Christie mystery with Jon, I just kept thinking of the photo of the pillow.  I pictured it in my mind so much I began to doubt the true colors and feeling of the pillow.  Maybe the photo was accurate and that it what the pillow really looked like.  Maybe I had been seeing it wrong all along.

The more I thought about it the lower I got.

Finally I told Jon what was bothering me.  I guess I didn’t want to admit it because it didn’t seem worthy of my being so down.

But Jon understood.  It’s your work, he said, your art.  Of course it’s important.  And if you feel like it isn’t good, that’s a valid for being upset.

He also said I should let him take a picture of the pillow with his Leica camera. Trust me he said, I can get the colors right.

It took me some more convincing.  Maybe I was just stuck and didn’t have the energy to climb out of the hole I’d fallen into.  Or maybe I just didn’t believe him.  Or what if he did take a picture and it was no better than mine.

So I got the pillow and even just looking at it, I knew It was good.  The colors and feeling were exactly what I was going for.

It was dark out by now and I knew the lighting in the house would make taking a picture difficult.  But  Jon was insistent as he propped the pillow up on the dining room table and took a picture.  Tomorrow I’ll take it outside in the daylight and it will be even better, he told me.

Jon showed me the photo and even with the indoor lighting, the photo captured the colors and feeling of my pillow.

And just like that, my mood shifted.

The lethargy I’d been feeling since taking my photo earlier in the day lifted.  My brain felt sharp and I could feel my whole face crease in a subtle smile.

You’re back, Jon said.  And  I fell in love with him all over again.

Not just because he took a great photo of my pillow, but for his caring and understanding.

A part of me still feels it seems extreme for me to have been so upset over a photo.  But then, another part of me knows how important my work is to me.   If I don’t write well about my art or have a photo of it that captures the feeling and colors accurately, then I’m the only one who knows what it really looks like.

And I don’t make art just for myself.  Or even just for the person who will buy it.  It’s also for anyone reading my blog to see and experience.  I love the idea that those of you reading my blog can enjoy my art through pictures and words without having to own it.

This morning I  replaced the photo I took of my Four Oak Leaves Holding Pillow and posted on my blog yesterday with the photo Jon took this morning.

And I’m feeling really good about both the pillow and the photo.