I do my work, take care of the animals and the farm, listen to the news sporadically, meditate, walk and do yoga . Jon and I have been relaxing on the weekends, the long winter finally letting up.
I keep at it, keep going, but this weekend the darkness of our times, came crashing down on me.
I feel like I should be doing something about it. I think of writing letters to my representatives, but I know the ones who agree with my beliefs, don’t need to hear from the me and the ones that don’t won’t listen or care. There’s a weekly protest a town over but I don’t have the energy to go.
During difficult times I try to have a sense of history about it. I think of myself looking back at how I handled certain situations, what I did and didn’t do and hope I will feel good about my actions.
Feeling low doesn’t help, but it happens. So I let myself feel what I’m feeling. It is a sad and scary time in our country and being at war isn’t something to feel good about.
But I also know that I don’t want to stay there too long.
So I think of what I can do and remember the idea starting with myself. Because that’s where it has to begin, and I know that what I’m really looking for will not come from outside of me. We just don’t live in that kind of world.
So I go inside, an hour of meditation, which calms me in a way I can’t really explain. I think of the beings around me who I love and how I want to be there in a positive way for them. I think of the small things, those little miracles I see when I walk in the woods. How they give me hope and how sharing them through pictures and writing makes me feel like I’m putting something good out into the world. I think of my art, which I hope does the same.
I think of the little things I can do that make a difference.
And I know that once my spirits lift again, (and they will) those other bigger things might not seem as daunting.
It’s so much about what I can and can’t control. More and more I believe that it’s how I react or don’t react that is the only thing I really have any say over. And I’m finding that not reacting is often more effective. That doesn’t mean doing nothing, but doing what ever it may be, in a thoughtful and considered way.
Right there with you on this.
:)
This touched me deeply this morning, Maria. Those are my thoughts every day as well, and I have those low feelings often. Thank you for expressing this , I will be strengthened and encouraged by your words each time I visit them .
Ah, then that makes me feel better Laura.
What you share in the last paragraph is what I’ve come to understand also. And I believe it is quite effective, though it will take time, and more understanding this, to see it reflected in the outer world.
It’s something for me to hang on to Barb.
Me too, Maria. I have my days of doubt, and why I like be in connection with people like you who get it.
Yeah, Barb, That’s really important to find support in our beliefs. :)
I cling to a belief that we are all spiritual beings entrapped in a human form. And when we share our insights, experience, talents and hope, it helps alleviate suffering for others. You Maria, are a beautiful soul sister to many. Thank you.
Thank you Lynn. I can see what you mean, I have experienced that from other people so often. I’ll think on it more.