It was Jon who suggested we make our Solstice celebration a renewal for our lives together and on the farm.
I liked the idea.
There are times when I wonder about our decision to live with animals on a farm, making a living by writing and making art. There’s so much to do, sometimes it feels overwhelming. Like everyone I’ve ever known I worry about money and our ability to keep and maintain the farm. Every year I wonder if this is the year I won’t sell my wool or my art. Jon will be 79 soon. Most people are retired at that age, but he keeps on writing and doing good. I am 62 and have already decided that I won’t be getting anymore sheep, but I too have no desire to retire and hope to continue working until I no longer can.
We inspire each other, picking each other up when the other is down.
Unlike in years past, this Summer Solstice we had a small fire. The apple branches from the limb that fell a couple of weeks ago take up too much space in the barnyard.
So instead of the bon fire, I took just some of the cardboard from my winter vegetable garden and a few small branches from the maple that fell some years ago and with a single match started the fire.
It was no less powerful than the big blazed we’ve had in the past. There was something quiet and thoughtful about it.
A fire to match our mood.
Jon and I sat watching the orange flames on this longest day of the year and spoke about what our lives together mean to us. How for the first time we both had a home we didn’t want to leave, work that was meaningful and fulfilling and a person to do it with that we loved.
Whenever we face the difficulties that come with the life we have chosen, we remind each other that is our choice. We may not have the kind of security many people have, but we get to do what we love every day.
When I first met Jon he told me how early in his life he decided he was going to be a writer. And that he would do what ever he had to to make that happen.
That may have been when I fell in love with him. I know for sure I took those words to heart and decided I would do the same as an artist.
Today we renewed that promise .
“I only know how I feel right now,” I said as we sat in front of the fire. “Next year I may feel different but right now I want to continue our lives as they are, doing what we love, in a place that feels like home for the first time in our lives, with the only person I want to be with.
And so we begin the new season with a fresh start, dedicated to living the lives we have chosen.
