The Constant Work Of Standing Up For Myself

Kimberley’s Knitting Bag with her Fuck Politeness  button and my Flying Vulva Button on it, among others.

“Get out of my chair”, the man in my dream, said to me.  I didn’t know the man, but I knew of him.  He was an arrogant, self-centered person, who liked to have things his way.  I didn’t hesitate to tell him that he couldn’t talk to me that way, that he had to ask me, not tell me, if he wanted me to do something.

He didn’t understand what I was saying, so I gave him examples of how he could ask me to let him sit in the chair I was sitting in.  But he couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t form the words in his mouth.  They came out all jumbled up.

This dream is strangely close to an experience a friend of mind recently had with someone she works with.  Not the part about the man not being able to form the words, but how she stood up to him.

My friend’s story and now the dream make me think of the button that Kimberly sent me after receiving my Flying Vulva Button in the mail.  The button Kimberly sent me says “Fuck Politeness“.

That idea of being polite or feeling sorry for men who are rude or violate me in some way, is one that is ingrained in me.  Some women, bless them, are naturals at not taking crap from men and standing up for themselves.  But it’s a relatively new way of being for me.  And one that I still work at.

I’m better than I used to be.  As Jon says, I have no problem letting him know exactly how I feel about things.  But that comes more from trusting him.  And he doesn’t treat me in that way.

I imagine the idea of giving in to men in this way,  goes way back to when women needed men to protect them.  But as Jenny Holtzer says, Men Don’t Protect You Anymore.

Still, it’s in many of us to make excuses for men, which, like making excuses for children who misbehave, only makes them believe it’s something they have the right to do.

I’m thinking of my friend Susan who stood up to the man at work who was really rude to her.  And how he didn’t apologize but, for the rest of the day,  changed the way he spoke to her.  They even had a normal conversation.  But the next time they worked together the same thing happened and she had to make her feeling known again.

Most of us aren’t going to change a life time of behavior because of one conversation. I know for me, this idea of sticking up for myself, of not falling back on old habits of allowing men to treat me as if I’m inferior to them is on my mind.  Because I work at home and mostly get to choose the people I associate with, it doesn’t happen often anymore.  But my subconscious is telling me something  in this dream.

Maybe it’s not so much about my personal relationships, but about the current women’s movement and my place and part in it.

So  I’m inspired by my dream to once again let everyone know about my Flying Vulva Decals and Buttons, as a reminder of the work we need to constantly be doing to balance the personal and social relationships  between women and men.

If you’d like  free Flying Vulva Decal, just send a self-addressed stamped envelope in the mail to Maria Wulf PO Box 205 Cambridge NY 12816.  

I’m also offering   my  Flying Vulva Buttons for the cost of shipping, which is $2.  Or if you buy anything from my Etsy Shop and would like a Flying Vulva Button just ask and I’ll put one in the package for free.   

 

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Spirit Chair

My Fujifilm camera has a button for taking double exposures.  First you click on one image then another and hope for the best.

In this photo I first  took a picture of the sunlight, on a pillow, on the chair in the living room.  Then I took  a picture of Bud.

It’s an imposing and spooky photo.

It makes me think of the Charles Dickens story about the chair that comes to life. Or the ghost stories I’ve read about a spirits inhabiting a piece of furniture.

The idea of Bud’s spirit inhabiting a piece of furniture isn’t hard to believe.  He seems to claim them all as his own.

 

Reflections and Shadows

I’m trying to figure out what kind of pictures I want to take with my new instamatic camera, the Fujifilm Instax.

It’s so different from my iPhone which takes photos that are sometimes almost too sharp, the details too exact.  The Instax photos are softer in the color and detail.

Although the photos are instant, they evoke the passage of time.  Not just because the pictures from Instamatic cameras are a reminder of another time, when they were popular, but because  once image is captured, it then belongs to the past.

This is a photo of the  mirror and medicine cabinet (from 1956) in our bathroom.  The shadow from the window above the mirror is what captured my eye.  But when I was taking the photo, I found the reflection in the mirror as interesting.

Mostly l like the feeling of the photos.  When they work, they seem to have a presence about them.  Something almost ghost-like.

New Potholders For Sale, Free Shipping For One More Day

Hen and Rooster Potholders in my Etsy Shop

I’m extending the free shipping on my potholders for sale in my Etsy Shop  till tomorrow, since I’m just posting this new batch of potholders so late in the day.

I have some new Hens and Roosters and some Patchwork Potholders.  You can see them all and buy them by clicking on the Shop Etsy button below.

Full Moon Fiber Art Etsy Store

My new Patchwork Potholders for sale in my Etsy Shop

My New Fujifilm Instax Instamatic Camera

 

The last photo I took today with my new fujifilm instax.  Jon taking a photo of Fate

I had a feeling something was up when Jon started asking me about my Polaroid camera.  I hadn’t taken any photos with it in a while, but was justing started using it again.

Then on Friday, the box came from B&H Photo.

Inside was a Fujifilm Instax, instamatic camera.  “It’s the kind of camera’s artist’s use”, Jon told me.  A square format, not complicated but a better quality than my Polaroid and with more than one setting.

I read the simple  directions, set the camera up, took one photo, then put the camera away until today.  I’m not one to jump into things.  I usually get anxious when I get something new, so I’ve learned to wait till the creative urge strikes.

That happened this morning.  I started by taking a picture of the fruitbowl.

I tried the camera on  different settings to see what it would do.

It has a double exposure setting.  This was my second attempt at that.  First I took a photo of the vase of peacock feathers in the stairway, then a picture of Fate and Bud.  I think I’m going to have fun with the Double exposures.

Tin Man

There’s a landscape setting that widens the frame of the photo equal amounts on both sides of a center circle that shows up in the viewfinder.  I didn’t know this was how it worked till I took this photo.

The first photo I took was of Jon writing in his study.  I think at that point he was more excited about it than I was.  He loved the moody photo, that captured the writer at work.

I actually think my best Polaroids are the ones with Jon in them.  I’m not really sure why.  I think I have to take a lot more pictures before I’ll understand it.

I never would have thought to get a Polaroid camera.  And I never would have bought myself this new Instamatic.  Jon is a champion for creativity.  Whenever he sees a creative urge that needs to be filled, he tries to help make that happen.  And he’s often aware of that urge before I am.

Jon writing in his study.  My first photo with my new Fujifilm camera.

 

 

Sara and Sara, At The Pop-Up Gallery In Town

Sara Davis and her ceramics.

Our small upstate NY town of Cambridge has an unusual amount of artists.  A few times a year they get together and have an Open Studio tour for those of them  who live in town.  Some of the artist who live off the main street find an empty storefront or use the Hubbard Hall Barn to show and sell their work.

This Saturday a few artists had a pop-up show in the Old Bank on Main Street.  Two of them were in the Bedlam Farm Open House.  Sara Davis and Sara Kelly.

Sara Davis is in tune with the seasons, her work changes with the weather.  In the spring and summer she grows flowers and vegetables, in the fall and winter she makes wreathes for the holidays and creates her beautiful and unique ceramic mugs, cups and bowls.  For about eight  months of the year she has a CSA and  travels back and forth to NYC delivering vegetables.

You can see and buy Sara’s Ceramics on Etsy at GoldenEarthDesigns. 

Sara Kelly, painting at the pop-up gallery yesterday

I wouldn’t expect to see Sara Kelly in any gallery selling her work with a paintbrush in her hand.

Yesterday she was working from a photo she recently posted on facebook of the green mountains from Route 22. It was easy to imagine the photo transformed into one of Sara’s mystical  paintings.

Sara is the go-to graphic designer in Cambridge.  She’ll be designing  business cards, with my new header on them and maybe some Full Moon Bookmarks that I can put in with my Etsy packages.

As good a designer as Sara is,  I think she’s a painter at heart.

When she looks out the window and sees a deer eating her tree, it becomes a painting.  When she’s driving down the road and the sun sparkles on a snow-covered  mountain, or when the crows insist on her attention, it all becomes one of her creations.

I get a calendar from Sara every year so I get to see a different painting of her’s every month.  She sold out of them quickly this year, but has original paintings and prints for sale in on her website Sara Kelly Graphics and Design.  

 

“Dragon”, Protecting The Deepest Part Of Myself

Dragon

I can’t help but feel that this quilt came directly out of my experience in Bellydancing over the past week.  I feel like it embodies of the change that occurred in me.  Moving from fear and panic to a place of acceptance of who I really am.

When I sewed the dragons on either side of the deep purple and red velvet, I felt as if they were protecting something.  Now I see that something as the deepest part of myself. That which is layered with life experiences but safe in my core.

I still have to back and tack my Dragon quilt,  I’ll get to that next week.

I hope you can see the subtle variation in color of the velvet in this detail of Dragon.(easier to see in person then a photo)  A red strip spans across it like a vibration.
Full Moon Fiber Art