Selling My Wool and Seeing My True Self

Robin before his fall shearing

Thank you everyone who bought my wool!

I came home from the Vermont Fiber Mill three weeks ago with 104 skeins of dyed and natural wool and 120 oz of roving.  I sold out of the yarn last week and today I put the last pack of Bedlam Farm Dryer Balls in the mail.

It goes without saying, that I couldn’t have done it without you all.

I appreciate how you follow my blog and have gotten to know my sheep enough to want to use their wool to create with.   I love getting your photos of the socks, slippers, sweaters, gloves, scarves and blankets you have made.  And I love posting them on my blog.

It’s a completely creative circle from my sheep to your creation.

This year’s wool was special for me in another way too.

I have written often of how my art reveals things about myself that I wasn’t aware of.  This time it was my wool, picking it up and selling it that showed me something different about myself.

When I picked up my wool and saw how much there was I seriously wondered if I would be able to sell it all.  In the past this concern would have been accompanied by fear and self reproach.  I would have beat myself up over only shearing the sheep once a year, or about my decisions on how to process the wool.

But instead, after the initial bout of worry, I found myself getting excited about the idea of how I would go about selling all that wool.

I started taking photos of my wool in way’s I hadn’t before.  I took videos of the sheep and wrote about my yarn almost every day for two weeks.  And I discovered that not only I was having fun, but doing this made me feel confident about my ability to sell my wool.

Each day as I sold a few more skeins, I grew more sure of myself.

I was certain I would not only make my money back but make a profit too.  And because of the repeat buyers and the messages I got from people I could see that my wool is the kind that people like working with.  That it really is good quality wool.

It’s not that I hadn’t experienced this before or didn’t know it on some level.  It’s that for the first time since I started selling my wool 11 years ago, I really and truly believed it.

It’s that feeling of believing in myself, of confidence in what I am doing and my ability to do it that is new.  And I know it comes directly from disconnecting from my family.  It comes from the freedom I have felt since my mother died.

The weigh of the implied judgment that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn’t capable, that I would regret my choices, are gone.

And the void that weight left is filling up with a sense of self that is determined by me alone. As if I’m seeing the reality of myself and the life I have chosen clearly for first time.

That feeling of confidence didn’t leave when my wool was sold.

It’s there in my new quilt “Dancing With The Dragonflies”  and it’s eking its way into everything I do.  Even when I wake up in the morning frightened.  Now instead of giving in to the fear, I sit with it and come to see again and again, that it isn’t real after all.

It’s a curious thing, that this awareness should come from selling my wool.  But, of course, it’s more than just selling wool.  It’s my choice of a way of life, my way of living.   The truth of who I am.

And it’s only now that I truly feel free to try to fulfill the potential of who I can be.

Brush Hogging The Pastures

Constance, Merricat and Socks.  Lori (with the white spot on her nose) next to Robin and Kim behind them.  Then Issachar and Asher and Suzy last of all.

Ted Emerson brush hogged the pastures today.

It’s good to have the tall dry flowers mowed down. By now the seeds, dried stems and leaves just get stuck in the sheep’s wool.  And the seeds will still spread for next year’s wildflowers, while the small thorny bushes have been thwarted.

Suzy’s Shawl, Naturally Dyed With Osage, Is Sold

Detail from Suzy’s shawl  Osage and Oatmeal.  It is 19″x65″ and is $175 + $15 shipping.  You can buy it here. 

I sat next to Jon in his office this morning.  On his computer screen in front of us six of the people Jon has a Zoom meeting with every week.  Sometimes I join in.

Today Wendy was knitting with my blue wool from Constance and Socks.  She held up the beginning of a sweater so we could all see it.

Diane was on the screen too, with one of Suzy Fatzinger’s Shawls draped over her shoulders.  I felt warmer and snuggly just looking at her.

The shawl was a beautiful combination of natural colors, similar to Suzy’s lastest and last shawl of the season Osage and Oatmeal. 

Suzy’s shawl Osage and Oatmeal  you can buy it here. 

The pale green wool in Suzy’s shawl is naturally dyed from an Osage tree.  And that warm white along the edge is called Oatmeal.  Much of the mohair  Suzy used in the shawl comes from her angora goats, Lucy, Alice, April and Ruth.  But she likes to add other wool to her shawls too, like the locks spun into the white.

We’re already sold eight  of Suzy’s hand spun hand knit shawls this fall.  Each one unique.  Each one a soft and warm wearable piece of art.

Osage and Oatmeal is 19″x 65″ and is $175 + $15 shipping.  You can buy it in my Etsy Shop, just click here.  You can also email me about it at [email protected].  I take checks, PayPal and Venmo. 

Suzy’s angora goats, Lucy, Ruth, April and Alice

Three Old Ewes Get Their Morning Grain

Suzy coming in the barn for grain

It only took two days.  Now every morning when I put hay in the feeders Socks, Biddy and Suzy come to the barn for their scoop of grain.

This morning Suzy wasn’t as quick as the other two sheep but when I called to her she came running to the barn.

The rest of the sheep also know that they aren’t getting any grain.  Sometimes one of them will come to see what’s going on, but they soon understand that the grain isn’t for them and go back to the hay.

These three old ewes need some extra nutrition in the colder months.  They still prefer grass to hay even if there isn’t much of it.  Last year Biddy was so thin I thought it might be her last winter.  But she bulked up over the summer and now has a good belly. I hope to keep it that way, and the grain should help.

When it gets really cold all the sheep get a supplement of grain.  But for now it’s just the old ewes.  And everyone seems to have accepted that.

That’s Biddy in the back then Socks and Suzy eating their grain in the barn

What About My Bedlam Farm Dryer Balls

  Dryer Balls “help prevent laundry from clumping together in the dryer by tumbling between layers and separating fabric. This action allows warm air to circulate better which can even help reduce drying time. The movement of the dryer balls against fabrics can also help fight wrinkles, prevent static and soften clothes.”  Maytag

“How long do the dryer balls last?” Jon asked me as we drove home from the post office where I mailed out some of the last Bedlam Farm Dryer Balls.

Viki, who bought my dryer balls for the first time, asked if I had any tips for using them  “I’m guessing they wear out over time.” she wrote me.

It’s a good question.

I imagine they would wear out over time, what or who doesn’t?  But I’ve been using my dryer balls for two years now and they show no sign of wear.

Except, of course, for the ones that bounce out of the dryer when I pull the clothes out and are later found by Bud who hides under the dining room table and pulls them apart.

I’ve lost two that way.

Carol, who bought a set of my dryer balls two years ago, asked to be put on my list last year for more.  But when I contacted her this year she said her dryer balls were in good shape and she didn’t need any.

And to answer Viki’s question about how to use them, all you have to do is put the three dryer balls in the dryer with your clothes.  It’s as easy as that.  They take the place of dryer sheets.

I love that my dryer balls are long lasting.

They are made from wool that comes from Asher and Issachar. These are the twins that were bottle fed by my shearer Liz then given to me because she didn’t wan to send them to market.   They are my most  friendly sheep and their wool is a lovely mix of Cormo/Romney and Blueface Leicester.

But that also means that the people who have bought my dryer balls will not need them again or a long time.  (Unless of course your dog or maybe even a cat gets a hold of them.)

Although I’m finding that one of the other things about my dryer balls is that they make good gifts.    They’re practical, good for the environment and natural.   And they come around just in time for the holidays.

Lynda who bought three packs of my dryer balls wrote to me when she received them…

The dryer balls arrived and you really package them nicely! And the photos of the sheep are very special! Lucky you to hang around with them and to benefit from their wool. And now I can share them with my family.

It’s true that you get a bit of my sheep when you buy my dryer balls.  Those sheep that many people have been watching all year on my videos and getting to know through my writing and photos.

You get a little piece of Bedlam Farm.

This year I was able to make dryer balls for just about everyone on my list.  I don’t know if there will be as big a demand next year.  I guess that depends on who else, besides all the people who have already bought them, want some.

If you would like to be put on a list for next fall you can email me at [email protected].

Asher who supplied the majority of the wool for my dryer balls.

Suzy’s Last Shawl, “Osage and Oatmeal” For Sale

Suzy’s Shawl Osage and Oatmeal  is 19×65″.  It is $175 + $15 shipping you can buy it here.

I don’t have to wonder if Suzy’s color choices for her shawls are influenced by the natural world.   I just have to look at the photos she sends of her shawls with the landscape behind them.

Osage and Oatmeal , named for some of the wool Suzy used to make it, is her last shawl of the season.  We’ll have to wait till next year for more.  I love how the subtly of the colors reveal themselves.  The pinkish tinged white is called Oatmeal and the solid green stripe is naturally dyed with Osage, a tree in the mulberry family.

The locks spun throughout the white is also naturally dyed.

Detail of Osage and Oatmeal

The mohair Suzy uses in her Shawls come from her Angora goats Alice, Ruth, Lucy and April.  The naturally dyed wool in Osage and Oatmeal comes from a fiber artist who Suzy met at the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival.

As always, each of Suzy’s shawls is a unique piece of wearable art.   She hand spins all the yarn and hand knits each shawl.   They are washed in a natural solution which makes them extra soft.

Osage and Oatmeal is 19″x65″ and is $175 + $15 shipping.  You can buy it in my Etsy Shop, just click here.  Or you can email me at [email protected].  I take checks, PayPal and Venmo.

Below is a video of Suzy’s goats April, Alice, Lucy and Ruth.

Zip And The Last Ten Skeins Of Bedlam Farm Wool For Sale

Zip stole the show.

Jon was taking the video of my and my last ten skeins of wool for sale when then Zip took over.  He’s been rubbing noses with the donkeys, Asher, Issachar and Suzy, but as we were taking the video Robin got into it.

As you can see in the video, Zip is so comfortable with the sheep, he went belly up for Robin.

Zip is making friends with the sheep and donkeys.  Or who knows maybe they’ve been friends all along and they just decided to invite us to the party.

But back to the reason for this video,  I do still have some of my Bedlam Farm Wool for sale.

I have 4 natural gray from Lori and Suzy, a mix of Romney and Border Lecister,  5 natural gray from Robin, which is pure Romney and one natural white  from Merricat and Kim.

They are all 3 ply worsted and 200 yards for $27 each + shipping.  They make great gifts and have inspired more than one person to learn to knit.

You can see all my wool yarn  and buy them in my Etsy Shop, just click here. 

Lori and Suzy’s wool, Merricat and Kim, and Robin’s wool.  You can buy it here. 

Shearing Sheep Last Night

Ian shearing Merricat while Fate and Asher watch

Although Ian arrived while it was still light out, it was soon too dark to see without the lights I hung in the pole barn that afternoon.

There were only four sheep to shear, Constance, Lori, Robin and Merricat so it went quick and easy.  Except for Constance who gave Ian a hard time, but then she always does.

Constance’s wool was so long it was hard to fit into one bag.

Some people are wondering about shearing the sheep this time of year.   It may seem cold to us humans, but sheep only need about a half inch of wool to keep them warm in the coldest weather.   They will have gown that back in a week.

The most important thing is that they have shelter, like the pole barn where they can get out of the wind.

The days are still warm here, in the fifties this week.    And the coldest night we’ve had so far was 25 degrees.  These temperatures are not considered cold for the sheep.  And if they do get cold, they huddle together to keep warm.

Ian shearing Robin. Robins wool is much darker than it was when I sheared it in the spring.

It is worse for the sheep to be carrying around a years worth of wool come the spring than to be shorn twice a year.

The rest of the sheep’s wool doesn’t grow as quickly as these four young Romneys. So I only shear them once a year in the spring.

Ian shearing Lori.  Shearers always begin by shearing the sheep’s belly.  That wool is short and usually dirty and get thrown away.

Ian did a great job as always.  He’s easy with the sheep even when they give him a hard time.  He talked to Lori when she got a little restless, cooing her name and she settled down.   And although he doesn’t shear sheep full time anymore, he seemed more relaxed and easy going than I’d ever seen him.

When he was done and the wool tucked in plastic bags in the barn, we had Squash soup and bread for dinner.  We talked about the creative life as we always do with Ian.  Before he left, he read us his latest poem.

Preparing The Barn For Evening Sheep Shearing

Fanny checking things out as I hung the lights in the barn

Ian will be here soon to shear the sheep.

Not all of them, just Lori, Robin, Constance and Merricat.  Unlike the other sheep their wool grows long enough to shear twice a year.  Last spring they had so much wool it was weighing them down.

Ian is coming after his full time job at a Slate mine, so it will be getting dark as he shears the sheep.  After Jon and I got back from his appointment in Saratoga I hung a couple of flood lights in the barn to prepare for the shearing.

Fanny was curious as she always is about anything that goes on in the barnyard.  And Fate was there to help in the ways she does. Zip showed up too.

I also got some other winter chores done before packing up more wool and dryer balls for the post office.

The things that need to be done this time of year are very different from the warmer months.  I ran an extension cord to plug in the hens water bowl and keep it from freezing, put the storms on the bedroom windows,  moved firewood into the house and got the fires going.

Ian will stay for dinner and share some of his new poems with us.  I made Butternut Squash soup which I have a feeling we will all enjoy after being out in the cold.  Although Ian keeps warm with his work, I’m mostly standing around watching and of course collection the wool.

Now we have to go and put the sheep in the barn.  Good thing I remembered to get the grain. Without a dog to do the rounding up, grain is the only way I know to get the sheep to come to the barn.

Zip was also curious and came in the barn to see what was happening.
Full Moon Fiber Art