The mosquitoes insisted I keep walking this morning. The moment I stopped to look at a wild flower, fern or salamander, they were on me like the Lilliputians on Gulliver. So I kept moving making my way along the path that used to take our neighbors ancestors to Lake Lauderdale. There they would cut ice in the winter and bring it back to the house where Jack and Kim now live, covering it in sawdust to keep through the summer. Such an old road, probably first a deer path, then an Indian trail, now a well worn and known path.
The Ice Road seems so stable compared to the uncertainty I’ve been feeling lately. But walking today I remembered a dream I had years ago where the actor John Goodman (I still can’t imagine why John Goodman might come to me in a dream) said to me ” Ya know Maria, sometimes it’s good not to know where you’re going”. And of course, no matter how known the Ice Road is, it’s still constantly changing. One day the mosquitoes are attacking, the next day the wild flowers are dead, last week we saw bear scat, this week it’s gone. If people stopped walking and riding on it, the road would be overgrown in a few years. There’s always uncertainty in what might be, and certainty in the moment. So I can fear the unknown or trust it. I guess that’s what faith is, opening myself to the mystery of life and trusting it.