The farm is different without Chloe, not better or worse, just different.
When Donna texted me on Sunday night and told me she brushed Chloe and there were no marks on her, indicting that the horses weren’t fighting, it reminded me what was really important.
Chloe was not feeling or thinking the things I was feeling and thinking. What matters is not what I’m feeling or projecting, but that Chloe is in a safe and loving home. That she’s getting along with the horses there (which she is) and is getting the attention and doing the work that she deserves to be able to do.
When Chloe lived at Bedlam Farm I always felt that I wasn’t giving her the attention she deserved. That wasn’t good for me or her. Now I know she’ll get lots of attention from her humans and when they’re not around she’ll be with her herd of horses.
I loved having Chloe for the few years were did. I learned so much from her about horses and about myself. Now when I think of her I smile.
Jon likes to talk about how much easier things are on the farm without Chloe here. But he’s also the one who called Treasure this afternoon to see how she was doing.
I’ll visit her again when it feels right. But I’m not thinking about her in the same way anymore. I know Chloe’s at home again.