There’s a small circle of beech trees just off one of the paths I walk in the woods. You have to step up into them which makes me feel removed from everything around me as if I’m entering into their private world.
I had been walking for a while when hot flash made me take off my hat and unzip my coat. I felt light-headed so I squatted inside the circle of trees leaning against one of them.
Right in front of me was a small tree. At its crotch, it split into two trunks that twisted around each other.
I thought of me and Jon, our bodies wrapped around each other in bed as we slept. I thought of our life together, separate but entwined. I touched the small silver locket, that lay beneath my layers of clothes against my skin.
Me You Forever, written inside it. Jon’s words to me.
“You can put something in it,” he said to me when he gave it to me for my birthday the day before. But to me, with those words, it was already full.
It’s not the kind of jewelry Jon usually buys me, it’s not the kind I usually wear. But when he gave it to me, I put it around my neck and haven’t taken it off since. Not to shower, not to bed. It’s so small and light, like a dewdrop or a tear, I hardly feel it on me.
But I like knowing it’s there.
Not wanting to get up till the dizziness left me, I took picture after picture of the twisted tree. Not paying attention to what they looked like from one to the next.
When I got home and saw the photos I was struck by how sensual they were. I even turned the one above upside down so it became a woman’s hips, vulva, and legs. But that made it too literal. Once it became a woman there was no need to look any further.
And I had already seen something else in the tree. I’d seen the sensuality of Jon and me.