I rummaged through the fabric scraps that Karen sent me looking for just one that captured my attention. It’s how I began making each potholder today, searching for the beginning.
I haven’t given up on making collage or my artist residency. But today I just felt like doing some sewing.
I guess I wanted something familiar.
It made me think of the time I was in therapy and was remembering some difficult childhood events. At one point I just stopped and instead told my therapist, Selma, about the big Victorian house that I sometimes went to in my mind. “Ah”, she said, “your safe place. It’s good you have a place to go when you need to.”
My artist residency is by no means a trauma, but it felt grounding to design some potholders today.
I wondered if it would feel different if my potholders would look different after working for over a week on something I’d never done before. But I can’t really tell if the collage has changed the way I sew in any way.
I do believe that whatever I do eeks its way into my work over time, in one way or another.
The thing that I have noticed is that I feel less anxious about my work. Less anxious about having enough time to get it done (often an issue with me) and less anxious about whether or not I’ll sell it.
I don’t know if that will last, but at least I know what it feels like and it’s possible to achieve.