Socks, Doing It Her Way

I reached up and plucked two yellow crab apples from the tree in the barnyard. Before I even had a chance to turn around Asher had come up behind me and nudged my elbow with his head.

Issachar was next then Suzy. Soon I was surrounded by sheep all asking for apples.  I gave them one each then picked a couple for Fanny and Lulu who were the last to show up.

Except for Socks.

Socks was standing apart from the other animals.  When I stopped picking apples, she went back into the barn.

Socks does the same thing when it’s time for hay.  All the sheep crowd around as I fluff up the hay in the feeders.  But Socks stands apart from them waiting till things calm down then finds an empty spot at the feeder.

In this way, Socks reminds me of myself.

I was never one to join the crowd.  I’d rather not push and fight to get upfront, even if it meant missing out on something. I’d stand behind the crowd away from everyone else, not wanting to join in.  But also, really wanting to be noticed, even if I didn’t admit it to myself.

This behavior shaped my life in some ways that were fine and others that weren’t.  It wasn’t only about not joining in.  I shied away from anything or person that was popular.  So I’m sure I missed out on opportunities that might have benefited me.

But then, I did always did somehow find my own small tribes that seemed to work for me.

I’m still not comfortable in big crowds or large gatherings of people, but I’m better at finding the people who are good for me. And lately, I am more pushy than I used to be.  More determined to get what I want.

So I picked two small apples and brought them to Socks.  She gobbled them up one after the other while the rest of the sheep were still under the tree munching away.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve reinforced this behavior in Socks by empathizing with her,  and that’s why she does it or if it really is her nature.

Either way, Socks still gets as much to eat as everyone else, she just does it in her own way.